


Insanity

by SpaceGirl2002



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2018-09-23 14:24:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9661214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceGirl2002/pseuds/SpaceGirl2002
Summary: The way it bounds you to it, making sure you don't escape, taking precautions so you don't dare to call out for help. As the darkness surrounds you, until its so dark you can't see and until it's so cold you can't breathe due to the thin air, that's how you know what I'm feeling. Being a caged bird, I will never be free. Not as long as I am bounded to him, and he to me.Kei works at the asylum just at the edge if the woods close to the city. He's tall and has an amazing build, born with looks to charm just about anything. Wilkshire is where all the lunatics who can't be cured are sent, and it gets boring when you have to hear the constant moans of the mushed brained patients and the protests that are heard from those who still cherish what little sanity they have left.After yet another doctor quits, Kei is tasked with taking over until a new replacement is found. Unfortunately for him, he's stuck with the most mentally sick patient in the institute, Tadashi Yamaguchi.Maybe it was the way he looked at him with beautiful dark eyes, or maybe the sweet way he spoke in, either way, he left an impression on Kei, and maybe this small obsession could take over his life.





	1. Chapter 1

“Going home soon?” Kei looked up from the scattered papers on his desk, adjusting his glasses and blinking away the sleep from his eyes. He looked up at the person who had spoken to him and sighed.

    “In an hour or so, I still have to finish this paperwork that’s been piling up,” Kei groaned as he leaned back into his comfortable office chair. He hadn’t been aware of the time until Sugawara had snapped him from his daze, and now as he looked out the window Kei realized how late it was. 

“Things have been getting hectic ever since Patient A-0 showed up, hasn’t it?” Sugawara exaggerated a sigh before looking over Kei’s shoulder, trying to make sense of the messy ink that was smeared all over the old and expensive parchment paper. 

The only light in the room was from an old and raggedy lamp in the corner opposite of them, giving off a dim and soft yellow glow. The light of the lamp wasn’t enough to reach the desk, it was common knowledge to Kei, so that explained the burning candle besides his assortment of fountain and dip pens. 

“I don’t understand why you don’t just buy a new lamp. In fact, you should, you’re just wasting perfectly good candles.” Kei shrugged off Sugawara’s observation, not paying much attention to what he was saying. “Did you hear me? I said you should get a new lamp for your office.”

“Don’t have the time,” Kei muttered as he dipped his pen in the ink bottle next to the stack of papers. He wasn’t paying any mind to what Sugawara was saying as it had become a habit for him to come into Kei’s office just before he left home.

“What are you even working on? Did someone else give up on A-0?” It was very common for a doctor to suddenly drop a patient, especially if it had to do with the their newest addition of misfits.

“No, we’re just getting a new transfer, again,” Kei yawned as he handed the paper he had just been reading over to the other male.

Sugawara skimmed through it before sighing and setting it back down on the oak desk. “It’s the third transfer from Bridgewood this month, what’s going on down there anyways?”

“Beats me, in the end it’s just more paperwork for me,” Kei groaned, earning a small but modest laugh from the ashen haired boy.

“Stoneridge is probably going to make us send someone to check up on them,” he yawned. 

“I wish they’d lay off of us, we get stuck with their rejects after all.” Kei wasn’t too fond of his job, but as long as it paid his bills he was fine with it. He usually stayed long before everyone else had left, stuck reading over important papers and signing documents, and was always the last one to arrive. No one blamed him though, not when they themselves wished they had the courage to come in late like he did.

“What’s left to do with the paperwork?” The shorter male piped up as he saw Kei make some marks on the documents with his lavish pen. 

“Just have to sign the transfer papers and read over their profiles.” It was usual for Kei to do so. Every night he’d stay in his office and read over the patient’s profiles and their ranking. Wilkshire was in charge of the more troubling asylum patients, tasked with not curing them, but containing them in cells everyday so they weren’t a menace to society. It wasn’t very humane, but it was Stoneridge and Bridgewood’s last resort.

“Want me to wait for you?” Sugawara prompted, hands digging into the pockets of his black winter coat.

“You can go on ahead, I’ll probably take a while,” he waved him off, returning his attention back to the scattered papers.

“I don’t mind. It looks like you don’t have much to read through,” Sugawara smiled at him. Kei groaned in defeat and waved the smaller male to the chair. Suga’s smile of triumph relieved a bit of the tension in the room that remained from what had happened hours ago, and Kei was grateful that his coworker had stayed. 

Almost half an hour passed before Kei declared himself done with his paperwork. By that time Suga was trying his best not to sleep in the comfortable chair. The clatter of Kei’s pen hitting the hardwood floor boards woke up the ashen haired boy, stretching his limbs and trying to speak through yawns Suga stood up.

“What time is it?” Sugawara asked dreamily as he rubbed his eyes slightly and straightened out his posture.

“Almost half past eleven. Sugawara-san, you’re not used to staying this late, are you?” Kei asked to at least show the least bit of concern to his friend who had offered up his time to keep him company this late at night.

Sugawara laughed lightly and shook his head. “No, I usually go home two hours before you do, but tonight I was stuck doing my own stack of paperwork,” he explained to the younger blond. Said male nodded his head in understanding and organized the papers in their respective folders. 

“It seems we’re stuck doing everyone else’s shitty reports and paperwork,” Kei complained as he organized the pens on his desk. It was sort of true since both Kei and Sugawara were at a higher position than the rest. Of course it meant everyone would want to drop off their respective documents at their feet and beg them to do it. They were already on thin ice with Stoneridge, and employees who lacked interest in doing their jobs weren’t ideal. If Kei wasn’t trying to prove a point to the snobs at Stoneridge, he wouldn’t care about the amount of pressure every one of his subordinates was putting on him. In fact he’d probably just shove off his work onto someone else if he felt like it.

“I guess,” Suga sighed. He looked over at Kei organizing his briefcase, looking through a few of the papers on his desk and deciding which he would take home to read over while he had dinner. 

When Kei finished, the both of them stalked out of Kei’s office and down the asylum’s dark hallway. They were used to the flickering and old lights that barely illuminated the place, finding their way by keeping their hands on the wall at all times. Both of them didn’t know why Stoneridge didn’t just send someone to fix the lighting, after having done so many favors for them they still pretended like they were above those at Wilkshire. 

“My car’s that way,” Kei muttered as they stepped out of the building. 

“Oh okay, see you tomorrow, Tsukishima,” Suga waved at the blond, starting to walk away the opposite of where Kei intended to go when the taller boy stopped him.

“You walk home don’t you?” Kei asked when he saw the look of surprise Sugawara displayed on his pale skin.

“Yeah, I walk to the nearest bus stop and take the bus home,” he smiled.

“I can give you a ride if you want, it’s almost midnight. It’s dangerous to walk at night, especially around here,” Kei insisted, wanting to at least make up for making Sugawara stay a little longer than usual.

“No, it’s fine. I don’t want to trouble you,” he smiled to reassure him.

“I insist, Sugawara-san. I feel at fault for keeping you this late.” With a small laugh, Suga finally accepted and both males walked down the pathway that led to the parking lot. The only cars there were those of the security guards who were on the night shift and Kei’s 1965 Buick Riviera. It was a model that he had bought a few years ago, the engine was good and the headlights weren’t busted like the other car he had seen. It had been a good price, and so far his car hadn’t had any problems. 

Kei unlocked the door for Suga and started up the engine as soon as Sugawara had taken a seat. 

“It’s almost a ten minute drive to the city, how do you manage to walk this late at night without getting mugged? Kei asked as he drove down the isolated road.

“It’s not that bad around here.” It was a lie the doctors at Wilkshire told themselves to get rid of their worries. Every patient at the asylum had no chance of full recovery, the only sort of activity that could be classified as “curing” them was the daily check ups on their health and sanity levels. 

“I guess.” The rest of the ride was just conversation fillers as Suga tried to strike up a chat. They passed by many trees that shielded the moonlight. Kei was thankful that his headlights weren’t busted like a car of the same model that was owned by one of his colleagues. 

At the sight of the first street lamp and the city limit sign, Sugawara asked to be dropped off at the nearest bus stop. 

“Are you sure? It isn’t much of a bother to just drive you home,” Kei declared.

“I’m really thankful for the ride out here, but I don’t want to be too much of a bother. You can drop me off at the corner over there,” Sugawara thanked him as he pointed to the corner where a small shop was placed. It was like a crafts store by the looks of it, and right next to it was a flower shop. Kei passed the neighborhood on his way to and from work, so it wasn’t any surprise to see the rest of the small shops, especially the ironic placing of the tattoo parlor next door to the flower shop. 

“You aren’t of any bother at all, Sugawara-san,” Kei insisted, but this time Sugawara didn’t let himself be pushed over. 

“It’s fine, I’m fairly certain that the bus will be here in a few minutes.” Kei sighed in defeat and stopped right at the corner he had been told to halt at. Suga unlocked the door and smiled at Kei. “Thank you for the ride. Have a good night Tsukishima.” And with that he lightly closed the door to the 1965 Buick Riviera. He waved to the taller blond before Kei drove away down the road. 

It was already midnight, and not many restaurants were open, not if you included the bars that is, but Kei didn’t feel like getting hungover, he never did. It would be instant ramen again, the third night that week, and he was slowly growing tired of it. He wondered for a second why he had even bought instant ramen, but quickly remembered that it was quick and easy to cook, not to mention the cheap amount it was priced at. 

Turning off the engine and stepping out the car, Kei mentally sighed at the thought that he would actually have to come in early to work. Contrary to what he had told Sugawara, another doctor had indeed resigned and it was Kei’s job to look after their patient. He didn’t blame the doctor for leaving though, he actually envied her for being able to just pack her things and leave without any worries. 

He walked into the elevator and pressed the button with the “fifteen” on it. The apartment complex had many stories, and it wasn’t like the rent was cheap or anything, but with the amount of money Kei was earning a week, he could easily afford a number of different luxuries excluding the lavish apartment. 

He hated his neighbors, most of them boring people and rich snobs who liked to boast about their social lives. One neighbor in particular was the one next door to his apartment, the one who threw parties every Friday night with booze and loud music, and when the party had sort of died down he would hear sounds that irked him and chilled him to the bone. He had noticed that recently his neighbor had been inviting over a small blond, and as Kei stalked out of the elevator and to his door, he spied the little blond standing at the door way.

He stared at him, and Kei glared back as he dug in his pocket for the key to the apartment. “How long do you intend on standing out here?” Kei asked as his hand finally grasped the key that had somehow gotten lost in the pocket of his cream colored coat.

“I’ve been waiting here since six and he still hasn’t showed up.” The way the blond spoke made Kei cringe a little, but he quickly dismissed the second of uncomfortableness as he raised an eyebrow to question why the hell his neighbor had not been home in hours.

“He’s probably fooling around with people, I wouldn’t wait any longer if I was you. He’s a lost cause,” Kei muttered. 

The small boy sighed in defeat and shrugged. “I know, but I don’t have the key to the apartment.” 

“You’re his roommate?” This conversation had started to interest Kei a little bit. The boy didn’t seem like the rest of the people who lived in the complex, in fact he seemed like a normal person apart for the tone he talked in that made him seem like he had no interest for whatever was going on.

He nodded and said, “I’m Kenma.” 

“Tsukishima,” Kei offered. Kenma nodded in acceptance and directed his gaze back to the door. “I still wouldn’t waste my time on him, throwing parties every party and making me buy ear plugs.”

“I work extra late on Fridays to avoid his ‘social gatherings’ as he calls them,” Kenma sighed.

“At least you can leave. I have work early in the morning but usually I can’t sleep because he’s playing loud music.”

“It’s why I avoid even coming home.” Kei nodded in understanding and unlocked his door.

“Well, goodnight Kenma,” he said as he turned the brass knob and opened his door. Kenma hummed a farewell and Kei closed the door, dropping the briefcase as soon as he set foot inside. He made his way to his kitchen and started to prepare his dinner. 

“I don’t look forward to Stoneridge’s visit tomorrow,” he muttered as he turned on his stove to warm up the water.


	2. Chapter 2

-

"Tsukishima!" Kei cringed at sound of his surname being called by one of the doctors. He was going around and checking off a list of things he was certain Stonebridge would be picky on. Sugawara sent him a look of sympathy as the short and orange haired doctor approached his side. 

 

Kei looked down and noticed that the white lab coat was buttoned clumsily and that the shorter male's hair hadn't been combed, violating the standard for every doctor. 

 

"What is it?" Kei hissed, dropping the clipboard he had been holding at his side. 

 

"I don't exactly know, but there's some doctors asking for you at a patient's cell!" Hinata beamed.

 

"Shit." Kei had forgotten that he had to check up on one of the patients.

 

"Go, I'll take care of the rest," Sugawara smiled at him. He nodded and handed him the clipboard, sprinting down the hall and to the stairways that led to the below levels where the most dangerous patients were kept. Only the guards and four doctors, including Kei, had access to those cells at any given time. Of course other doctors were allowed access to those cells, but that was only if they had permission from those who were in charge of the wing.

 

The guards stared at Kei with a look of unease until one of them recognized him. 

 

"Tsukishima-san!" The guard yelled, smiling and giving waving at a breathless Kei. 

 

"Let me in," Kei mumbled when he reached both of the men that stood at the entrance. "I have to do something in there." Both of the men standing at their post nodded and unlocked the door with a keycard, a keycard that Kei had left in his office on accident. He nodded his thanks and walked into the dark corridor. As hypocritical as it seemed, this was the darkest part of the asylum. Not many people ventured through here, wouldn't even set foot near there. However, it was almost daily that Kei came through there. He was always being called down here, the patients always causing too much of a ruckus and making his life more difficult by causing the doctors to quit or get transferred to a more tame mental institute, like Bridgewood. 

 

He knew exactly where to go. His first day in these corridors had petrified him, but Suga was with him and had calmed him down. He had had nightmares for over a month, but as time passed, the nightmares ceased. It was partly due to his noisy neighbor, or maybe the fact that the nightmares had dulled his emotions overtime. 

 

It was like a maze when you looked at the floor plan. Walls that consisted of mostly empty cells and concrete floor. It wasn't a humane way of keeping their patients, but it was the way Stoneridge had suggested they do it. 

 

He heard multiple voice coming from around the corner, a few shouts of panic and someone scolding another person. The clamor died down as soon as he turned the corner, the novice doctors in their lab coats shutting their mouths as he stalked towards them.

 

"Sorry I'm late," Kei muttered as he was handed a clipboard by the blonde girl, Yachi. It was the file, and he didn't understand why a bunch of newbs would have to be called down here, it was almost as if he was reliving his first day here. He opened the file he had also been handed and his breathings hitched. "Yamaguchi Tadashi," he read, looking at the door that the novices stood in front of. 

 

"Yachi-san, do you have your key card? I seemed to have misplaced mind," he turned to the short blonde who's face had reddened as he had spoken to her. She nodded her head vigorously and hastily lent him the key. He acknowledged her action with a nod of gratitude and slid the card through the small machine. A small flash of green light granted them access to the other side of the door. They were going in deeper, where all the actual psychopaths were kept. The ones who had gone on murder sprees, the ones who slowly lost their sanity in prison, the ones who knew that there was no hope in curing them. That was what laid behind this door.

 

"Are you sure it's okay to expose them to this part of the wing?" Yachi asked in a combination of worry and anxiety. "It's their first day after all."

 

"It's best to expose them to what they'll be dealing with in the future, then they can decide for themselves if they want to stay here or transfer to shitty Bridgewood," Kei sighed, turning to look at the group of college graduates who stared back at him in fear. "Let me guess, they're scared." There wasn't a response, making Kei bark a humorless laugh. "Figures."

 

He walked into the corridor, Yachi walking right besides him, and the rookies following after. 

 

"We're checking on A-0," Yachi whispered, looking up at Kei to make sure he knew which path to take. 

 

"Alright. Do you want to do it or should I?" Kei asked her, making the small blonde flinch. 

 

"I-I... Sure," she smiled at the ground and put her hands in the pockets of her white lab coat. She wasn't too used to talking with the patients, usually locked up in her office and managing the files of all the messed up people. Kei liked having her around because she was able to memorize almost every detail about a patient, so he didn't exactly need a file when he had Yachi with him. However, Yachi easily got flustered and gained people's attention, most of the time she was shaking with anxiety, but that's what made her a lovable associate. 

 

Reaching the door at the end of the dark hallway, Kei gestured for her to go in front. In the time that Tadashi had been here, Yachi hadn't made any sort of contact with him. She dealt with a lot of mentally ill patients, but she had heard rumors and stories of all the doctors that had quit because of him. It was said that he broke your mind and that he could make you kill yourself with just one sentence. She'd been avoiding doing this job, but when the former doctor had quit, she had realized just how many of them had come and gone.

 

The short girl stepped forward and took a deep breathe. "I can do this," she whispered to herself, grabbing the key card Kei had returned to her, and sliding it through the lock. She was granted access when the lock blinked a flash of green, and she entered the room, Kei following close behind. 

 

Both blonds cringed at the decor in the small room. The bed stood in the corner of the room, but what caught their attention was the walls, smeared with blood and all sorts of devil symbols. What stood out the most was the boy with fair skin who sat on the bloodied bed, cradling his arm. 

 

"H-He's injured! We should call a medic!" A rookie from the group behind him cried. 

 

"What should we do?" Yachi whispered. She hadn't yet encountered a patient who would do something like he did, bloodshot eyes and a unmistakable grin of pleasure. 

 

"Are you the new doctor?" Yachi flinched, but smiled kindly at him, approaching him calmly. 

 

"I advise you to pay close attention," Kei smirked in a cynical way. On the inside, he truly didn't want to come back here, but he probably would the next day. It depended on what Yachi decided since she had more knowledge about this topic than he did. She knew how to calm people down and how to treat people kindly, the opposite of him. "We won't bring you here with our guidance next time. You'll be on your own."

 

"I-I'm just a temporary replacement," she smiled in reply to his previous question. 

 

"What a bummer. I was hoping I would be able to break you, just like the other one. You look beautiful, I hate that. I want to break you." Yachi was stunned, at some point even horrified, but she was determined to make some progress. In her head she encouraged herself to communicate with him, to help him, or at least make him a little bit more reasonable. 

 

"It's only temporary, if you want you can focus on how you should break the next doctor. I'm sure they'll be better than me, and maybe even prettier," she beamed at him. He perked up and sat up straighter, he had given her his full attention. This was why Yachi was called down here with the insane patients, she could reason with them. 

 

"No one's ever let me do what I want. Are you sure I should focus on the next one instead of you?" Tadashi smiled at her, practically beaming, and if Kei had been able to look past the mentally insane aura that surrounded him, he could have sworn that he looked normal. 

 

"Of course! I mean, when you think about it, I'll only be here for the rest of this scheduled time and maybe even tomorrow, you won't have enough time to break me, so instead focus on the next person," Yachi smiled, pushing a loose strand of her sandy hair behind her ear as she crouched next to the bed, making sure to be leveled with how Tadashi positioned himself on the bed. 

 

Kei noted that Yachi was shaking a bit, admiring how calm she was maintaining herself. The first thing they had learned on their first day was that they should never look weak in front of any asylum patient. They were prohibited from doing so due to the fact that if such a thing was done, the patient could very well notice and act irrationally. 

 

"But if I may, can I ask you a few things?" Yachi asked, looking at him with a very convincing grin. The freckled boy shrugged and stared down at her, folding his bloodied hands and sighing. 

 

"Ask away."

 

Yachi took out a little leather-bound notebook and a fountain pen from the pocket of her lab coat, opening in up to the next available page and starting to write out the beginning of her question before even asking it. "I advise you to do this as well," Yachi mumbled, directing it to the novices behind them, and especially at Kei who always did the exact opposite, claiming he had perfect memory and could summarize the session if needed. 

 

"Am I just an experiment to you doctors?" Tadashi muttered, glaring at the clipboard that Kei held in his hands, the clipboard containing his file and the lies that had been told about him. 

 

"Why would you ask that? No one here's an experiment, we're just trying to cure you so that pretty soon you can return home," the blonde smiled reassuringly. The way she said it was unbelievably convincing that Kei himself almost believed it. "N-Now, the first question I have is," she looked down at her notebook, "'What was your childhood like?'" Yachi looked up at him, awaiting a response, the sound of a few pens scribbling down her words filled the cell. 

 

He thought for a minute before his eyes dimmed in light and he frowned. "It could have been better, I admit that, but it was fairly reasonable. I had a hard working father who dared to even bare a mistress, and an oblivious mother. She was caring I guess, but she was constantly sick and soon she lost her purpose in life. Truly saddening, complaining about not having a purpose in life while I was there comforting her. As I said before, it was a reasonable childhood," he mumbled just loud enough for Yachi to hear. 

 

Somehow, she managed to get just about everything he had said, and was now on to her next question, but before she even could, she felt like she at least had to say something of comfort. "It must have been rough, after all you did turn out this way..." she whispered, barely audible for anyone but herself. No one heard her, and she slightly nodded before writing down her next question. "What about your school years?"

 

Tadashi visibly hesitated before frowning even more and gritting his teeth, with a tone of annoyance he managed to say, "It was fine."

 

Yachi blinked before fidgeting. "Can you describe it?" It was an effort to get a better understanding of Tadashi's situation, make progress, at least a step forward in the attempt to help cure him. 

 

"It was just like any other kid's life. It wasn't interesting, and I only had one friend." He didn't say anything else in response to that question, just waited patiently with his hands folded in his lap, waiting for Yachi to continue in her small interrogation.

 

"This is the last question for today, but can you tell me why you're here? The reason you believe you are." Tadashi grit his teeth and Kei tensed. He was ready to pull Yachi away from him, her current state was vulnerable, especially since she wasn't looking up at him. His eyes flared with anger, and Kei saw his hand move in a blur, but Kei was faster. 

 

He managed to pull Yachi towards him, away from Tadashi who had swung his fist at where she had been only moments ago. Her eyes widened, her pen and notebook forgotten as she shook with fear. Kei helped her on her feet, making sure that she hadn't actually been hit by him. 

 

"I was framed, you know. It was hardly my fault," he hissed, hanging his head while a smirk made its way onto his face. "The blood on my hands... I didn't do it, you have to believe me," his tone of voice was on of high delight, enjoying what he had just done, almost inflicting pain on a doctor. 

 

"We're done here for today," Kei announced, pushing Yachi out the door, not wanting her to stay there longer than she needed. She was shivering and her brown eyes were wide in shock. The blonde somehow recovered the state to actually think straight because instead of just standing there, she excused herself and sprinted down the corridor. When she was out the door, Kei sighed in relief and glared over to the freckled boy who in return leered. 

 

"Leaving so soon? She lasted twice as long as you guys did. I'm disappointed, I thought I could at least have some fun, Tsukki!" Tadashi beamed leaning back and cackling as Kei tensed even more. He seemed to notice Kei's confusion, responding with, "Your identification tag has your name and what position you hold as a doctor." His answer just resulted in a frown from Kei, and after a short period of glaring at him, he sighed and turned around.

 

"I advise you not to hurt yourself again, Yamaguchi. Next time we come we'll have a straightjacket for you." They didn't speak any other sentence to the other and Kei sent a gaze to the novices who were still in shock at the burst. They got the memo and proceeded to follow what Yachi had just done around a minutes ago, walking grimly and silently. Once they were a good amount of steps away from the remaining two, the blond turned around and stared at the freckled boy's dark eyes. He straightened his frame to make himself seem taller than he already was and snarked a laugh before stalking out the door and closing it, locking automatically. 

 

The tall male stuck his hands in his pockets and clenched them. Patient A-0 had been more violent and cynical than what the other complained about, but Kei couldn't help but think that there was something he was missing, something he was feeling. The small leather notebook that belonged to the small blonde had been picked up by him just before he left the cell. He had intention of giving it back to her, but first he wanted to see what exactly she had written in it. Of course he wouldn't, so he was just left with the temptation of committing the action. He drew in a deep breath and fixed his dark framed spectacles, taking large steps as if he was in a hurry to actually return the leather notebook to the smaller blonde.

 

Kei reached the end of the hall, lights flickering off and on and the long passageway echoing his frantic footsteps. Yachi and the rest of the novices stood there, staring at him and waiting. He sighed loudly and relaxed his shoulders, walking past them and wondering. He let his thoughts roam in his head to make up theories about why Yamaguchi was there and many other things. Kei let himself wonder why exactly he was thinking about him and later concluded that it was possible that it was due to the fact that he had dared to hurt a colleague. 

 

He heard the many voices that echoed behind him, and the chatter of Yachi who was speaking cautiously to someone. Kei also listened to the chorus of different questions that the new doctors voiced, differing from mental state to the background of a patient. One of them shocked him and made his breath hitch, and maybe it was the most difficult one Yachi had yet to answer.

 

"Are any of the patients here ever cured?"

 

It was mentioned on Kei's first day there at Wilkshire that coming here was a one way ticket for anyone who dared to be different in the messed up society they lived in. No patient would ever leave the asylum, not when the only people sent here were completely insane. Years ago, he had heard of a patient who killed his doctor and then the guard that had tried to stop him. He went on a rampage and when more guards poured into the wing, he was executed on the spot.

 

Kei shivered at the memory, and halted in his footing. He turned about to face the group that had slowly been following him out and said, "I'm afraid that we cannot answer your question until you do in fact decide to take on this job." The rookie who had asked him, a boy with fair skin and dark hair, opened his mouth to reply, maybe even retort to what Kei had said, but the glare the blond gave him shut him up. 

 

"Does anyone else have any questions?" Kei asked, not really caring for what they had to question, but it was said in more of a sense in habit, having to absolutely mention it. The group sent each other looks of unease before one girl with dark hair raised her hand. He nodded at her, a cue to speak what was on her mind. 

 

The girl adjusted her raven colored hair that fell in her eyes before clearing her throat and speaking in a graceful tone. "I've researched this place before, Wilkshire I mean, and there seems to be almost no record of it. Contrary to its two successors, Stoneridge and Bridgewood, there seems to be a huge gap in sophistication, not to mention this institute likes to keep to itself. Do you mind telling us what exactly is that is being kept from us?" She bore no expression that Kei could manage to interpret, but she held herself in a way that told him that she was not someone to mess with, someone who took their work seriously.

 

Kei smirked and let out a somber laugh before turning to stare at her and say, "It's pretty simple. Stoneridge fucks up, we're left to clean after them, same with Bridgewood. They use us to cover their messes and still think poorly of us, transfer their lunatics here, the ones who don't have any hope and the ones who just can't be restrained. We get those and many more, so since we get stuck with their shit, we can't talk back to them at all, and so we're left to be quiet. There are some things we can't share with you until you swear the oath, though." The girl looked at him with a pleased expression and nodded her thanks, managing to somehow keep up with what he said surprised Kei, but she seemed like a smart young woman, capable of taking care of herself and her comrades. 

 

"Guess that's all the questions..." Yachi's whisper was lost in the sea of chatter the recruits had managed to raise. 

 

"Don't look so down, Yaichi-san," Kei directed towards her, "Remember our first day here? We could hardly contain our excitement, look at us now. Don't you wish we could have gone when we had the chance?" 

 

She nodded and sadly smiled, barely mustering a whisper of a response, "Yes. But we've gotten more important tasks, been promoted, doesn't that make up for it?" Her pale yellow hair swayed as she looked up at him with one of her genuine smiles. 

 

"Guess so," was his response, the usual short sentence that meant he had nothing else to contribute. 

 

Their small group walked out the double doors, Yachi greeting the guards cheerfully as their mentees chattered, or more like gossiped about their experience. 

 

"Hitoka-chan!" A call was heard not far from where both blondes were standing, maybe a few corridors from where they were, Yachi thought. The voice echoed through the passageway, a woman's voice by the muffled sound that was heard. The young woman turned the corridor, glasses clad lust like the blond who stood beside her, raven hair flowing behind her in a beautiful sway. The small blonde couldn't help but blush, especially when the dark haired girl called her name once more. 

 

When she reached them, she wasn't out of breath, expected from someone who had spent her middle school years running, and to this day still jogged every morning. Beautiful figure, amazing eyes, the short girl couldn't help but gawk at the smile she was greeted with. "Hitoka-chan, I know this is sudden, but can you and Tsukishima do me a huge favor?"

 

At the mention of his surname, the taller of the group directed his attention to the beauty of a woman that had just spoken. 

 

"What kind of favor?" Kei inquired, the calm tone of the dark haired goddess influencing his usual bitter tone. 

 

"We still haven't found a replacement for Patient A-0's caretaker. Judging by his recent activity and the number of mental medics that have gone through, it's going to be a while before we find someone stable enough to handle him," Kiyoko spoke softly, choosing her words carefully as she had managed to scare off the last two people she had asked.

 

Kei automatically mentally groaned at the request his superior had asked of him. He wasn't worried too much about himself, he knew he was capable of anything that had to deal with Yamaguchi, but there was a small doubt that Yachi would be able to handle him after what had happened. He peered down at the open mouthed girl with that subsiding blush, her once flustered self becoming a nervous wreck before his eyes.  
"Are you okay, Hitoka-chan? You've gone pale," the black haired beauty expressed her concerned to the high-strung blonde. "If you can't do it then that's okay, I can try to find someone else," she soothed. 

 

Kei watched the shorter female in amusement as she had now become a mess of anxiety, trying stutter out her answer. Her once flushed face had drained in color when Kiyoko had first spoken of her request, but with each soothing word to ease down the blonde, the shorter of the trio grew redder until she became hot mess.

 

"Yachi-san, are you okay?" Kei questioned. At this point, Yachi was sputtering out in an incoherent manner, her response to what the raven haired woman had asked of her tainted by how apprehensive she was conducting herself. 

 

"Hitoka-chan, you're going red in the face? Do you have a fever?" Kiyoko raised her pale hand to the blonde's forehead to analyze her temperature. That was the last straw. Yachi unknowingly smiled before her eyes rolled up in her head and she fell to the floor. 

 

"She fainted," Kei observed as Kiyoko stared wide eyed, kneeling down to fan the small girl. 

 

"I'll take her to the infirmary, but Tsukishima, can I count on you to check on A-0 tomorrow?" Kiyoko's eyes were pleading him, she was indeed desperate to find someone. 

 

Kei knew he would regret agreeing to it, but he knew what it felt like to have so much pressure on your shoulders and needing to ask around for favors. He sighed and shrugged his shoulders, replying, "Sure."

 

Her eyes filled with relief and she bowed to show her thanks. "Thank you! I'll send over a document later with all the information you need! Thanks again." The dark haired woman smiled kindly at him before hauling the blonde over her shoulder so easily, it was almost as if she weighed nothing to her. She calmly stalked down the corridor and turned the corner, leading to Kei moaning out a curse and walking back to his office. 

-

 

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I plan to update either Thursday or Friday, so I hope you look forward to that


	3. Chapter 3

"Thanks," Kei muttered. The young man who had come to deliver the documents from Kiyoko bowed his head respectfully before stalking off down the corridor. Kei looked down at the file in his hand before closing his office door and trudged to his oakwood desk. Sitting in his chair and leaning back comfortably, he opened up the folder before looking at the typed up words.

 

The words were carefully typed, Kiyoko had made sure that the ink wouldn't smear and makes the words unreadable. Kei mused at the paper, breaking down what kind had been used, before actually paying mind to the words. It wasn't that Kei dreaded reading, but the fact that anything that had to do with work bored him to death. Skimming through the lines, Kei raised his eyebrows, suddenly gaining interest in his small task. 

 

"He must really be troublesome if she's giving me precise instructions on what to do," he muttered, putting down the paper and smirking. "Yamaguchi Tadashi, huh?" Kei mockingly mused. "What exactly happened to you?"

 

* * * *

 

"Stupid alarm," Kei groaned, sitting up in his bed and squinting in front of him. He looked over to his right and grabbed his black framed glasses, pushing them up on the bridge of his nose. He then turned his attention to the alarm clock that was placed on his nightstand, the one the was blaring that ungodly noise that had awoken him from his needed slumber. He turned it off with the bang of his fist, making sure that it wouldn't wake him up two in the morning again, but his thoughts wandered to what had happened yesterday. 

 

Kei groaned, swinging his legs off his king sized bed and stretching, walking to his closet to pick out his attire for the day that had been set up. He brought out a simple, white button up shirt and black dress pants, his usual attire, with the company of the ebony colored dress shoes he had bought a little over year ago. Getting dressed quickly, but still making sure his outfit looked presentable and sharp, he panicked for just a second over where his white lab coat was, remembering he had left it in his office last night when he had drunk a glass of wine, offered by one of the nurses. 

 

He had been quite bitter, not in the slightest bit amused over having to come into work at four in the morning, especially if he had to deal with a troubling patient. As the blond prepared himself breakfast, just a simple bowl of cereal, his thoughts wandered to what to would ask Yamaguchi. The day prior, the freckled boy had attacked one of his coworkers, a sudden emotional outburst. Yachi had done some of the work for him already, and as grateful as he was, he couldn't help but ponder about how she was holding up. He could sense the shock and maybe even the fear she had experienced, and she had even been willing to help him again today. 

 

He brought the spoon to his mouth, munching on the cereal even though he had lost his appetite to eat. Eating this early in the morning wasn't a good idea as it made him feel nauseous, which is why he usually skipped breakfast and waited until lunch. Nevertheless, Kei forced another spoonful into his mouth before declaring himself done by standing up and putting his dishes in the sink. He decided that he's wash them when he came back home, hoping to catch up with a few documents he had left pending last night. He adjusted his clothes, and the rest of his appearance, before sauntering to the front door of his apartment. He grasped his briefcase and exhaled desperately, muttering, "I don't want to go." 

 

He reached into his pocket to grip the brass key and lock his apartment, but his effort was avail as he cursed himself under his breath. He hadn't found the key and was now fearing that he had misplaced it somewhere. He was in no hurry at the time, but if he kept at his search for more than he intended, he would definitely arrive late to the asylum and possibly receive a scolding for the first time since he had been employed at the Wilkshire institute a few years prior. 

 

He dropped his briefcase on the carpeted floor before rushing over to the kitchen, looking through his stack of mail and the scattered papers, not to mention the newspaper he had left there yesterday morning, the one that had caught his eyes. Kei looked into every nook and cranny he could think of while still staying in the kitchen area, still not being able to find his key. "Even with these glasses I can't seem to find where I misplaced the keys," he whispered with annoyance laced in his tone. He looked at his wristwatch, the one his colleague had gifted him for his birthday, and his breath hitched. The time on the the watch made him mentally stab himself as it was reading the time to be just five minutes past three in the morning, only giving him a little less than an hour to find his key and get to work. At least the streets wouldn't be cramped with traffic as it was still even earlier than daybreak, so maybe if he ran a few red lights and went just a tad bit past the speed limit, he could get there with the time he had thought to spare for his documents. Well, his calculations could only be counted as correct if he did indeed find the key in the next ten to twenty minutes.

 

Kei gave up on his kitchen, deciding that the next best place to look would be his bedroom. He stalked back to his room, clicking his tongue as a sort of habit when things weren't going his way. He turned the brass knob, pushing the door open briskly and strolled over to his small desk in the corner of his room. It wasn't that Kei didn't have any room for an office, with a luxurious apartment like his you could bet that there were spare rooms that could be turned into hobby rooms. Kei usually went home extremely late, and yet he usually brought home documents he had to read over before returning to work in the next few hours that awaited his arrival. He found it much easier to just buy a small desk and place it in the corner of his spacious room, even if he rarely used it as he saw himself just reading over the documents as he ate his dinner. 

 

"This is why I should have a spare key," he grimaced. Kei was getting more frustrated compared to the annoyance he had felt by just waking up this early in the morning, something foreign to him as he liked to sleep in a few hours to make up for sleep he had lost by doing paperwork at home. He kept on cursing himself for being so careless, even resorting to going to his organized desk to clear the doubts from his head. Not only was Kei growing furious, he was starting to become anxious. He checked his watch again only to find that it was twenty minutes past the last time he had checked. If he was even lucky, he could barely make it on time, the extra hour or so had been used up in his little search for his key. 

 

He decided to give up and just leave his apartment unlocked. The building's security was in great condition, security cameras and guards in the parking garage. He was sure that no one would be stupid enough to try to break into his apartment, so with one shaky breath he returned to his front door and seized his briefcase once again. He twisted the door's brass knob and hastily opened it door, hurrying as to make sure he wouldn't be tardy to work."Hopefully no one even tries to break into it," he voiced harshly under his breath, "What's the most valuable thing I own? The teas set my mother gave me?" The semi-comical thought of his put his mind at ease, if even for the tiniest bit imaginable. 

 

He walked down the building's hallway to get to the elevator that had been renovated just a few months ago, which of course forced him to take the stairs for a few weeks. He pressed the button to call up the lift, taking a little bit more time than usual. He again looked at his wristwatch, the reflective glass giving off a blinding shine from it's last polish, the leather strap wrapped around his wrist, honestly Tooru had out done himself by giving it to him, but in all honestly Kei had covered his shifts and taken over his patients for when he left on vacation for two weeks, one of the most hectic times at the asylum to say the least. The rim of the watch was coated with diamonds, and the band of the watch was gold! Kei had actually been surprised at first but it had faded as he remembered how much they were all earning a week. He decided to keep the watch, mostly from Tooru's banters and tantrums on why he wouldn't wear the expensive watch he had bought with his own money. Kei had reluctantly agreed as it was the only way to get Tooru to leave him alone, although he secretly did love the watch.

 

The lift's door opened slowly, Kei stepping in briskly and slammed the garage level button repeatedly, hoping that the forced action would make it move faster. It was the first time the blond had been concerned on getting to work on time. He usually wouldn't care, he even planned to come a bit later than what Kiyoko's instructions had told him, but he had been called into Sugawara's office just before he had left. The ashen haired boy had told him that he had a pending call, and that it was of importance that he answer it quickly. It had turned out to be Stoneridge, who had sent in one of their own recruits to observe the session Kei and Yachi had done with Yamaguchi. He claimed that they weren't spying, but had sent in someone to check if they would actually handle Yamaguchi. After the explanation that turned into more of an excuse as to why they had decided to transfer Tadashi to Wilkshire, the man on the phone had gotten to the point. 

 

"How would you like a challenge?" 

 

Kei was the kind of man who would just scoff and turn his head away, but when it came to the head of Stoneridge, Kei had to outdo him. 

 

Suga had meant to just modestly listen to the conversation from his desk, as Kei was standing right in front of him, but he saw the blonde's facial expressions and instead tried to concentrate on anything but the megane's aura. Kei had muttered something unintelligible to the ashen haired boy and had hung up with a scoff.

 

"I'm coming in early tomorrow, Sugawara-san," he had muttered before departing from the office and back to his own.

 

And now there he was, parking his expensive car and rushing to the front doors of the asylum, where two security guards stood like statues. 

 

"Let me in," the blonde grimaced, pushing up his glasses and staring coldly at them. One guard, most likely a new one, glared back at him and insisted that Kei show them identification. "It's in my office," he said coldly, sending chills through the other guards back. 

 

"I can't let you in unless you show me your identification," the guard said. It looked like the other one, a little bit more jittery and anxious at this point, was trying to reason with him to let Kei in.

 

"He works here though. He's been here since I started working here!"

 

Kei could only grit his teeth and clench his fists, the frustration at home had drained his capability to give a fuck. "Do you even know who I am, probably don't since you've only started working here, and judging by the shiny ring on your finger you're a newlywed, shame you'll have to go home to the missus and explain to her why you don't have a job anymore, now let me in," Kei hissed, his dark eyes narrowing at the guard who stood there awestruck. "Oh please, that was only common sense, but I guess I can't blame you for not having any, after all your parents died at an early age and you grew up in foster homes, that explains your trust issues, but it doesn't explain why you look that disheveled. You were married not that long ago, moved here after the honeymoon and maybe, but this is too farfetched, but you have a newborn at home, which gives you more reason to not want to lose this job as then you'd have no one to manage the household, not for God's sake let me in or I will have you fired." There was a fire in Kei's eyes, a murderous desire coursed through him as he grit his teeth and glared harshly at the guard.

 

"How did you know about the foster homes?" The guard asked in awe.

 

"It's actually quite simple, no one here has a family to go to after work's done so they have nothing to worry about, if something happens to them they don't have anyone that'll worry about them, but you, you're the only one I've seen wearing that gold band around your finger, so you're obviously desperate for any kind of job you can get to support your family, scrounging up every cent you could to pay for the wedding which means you don't have any parents to rely on for financial support, that could have just meant that you've parted ways with them, but no matter what terms, whose parents would not want to at least participate in your wedding, unless it has something to do with your wife but I doubt that, so on to the debt you probably owe, you're taking a job at an asylum because the pay's good, so you obviously deeply care about your family enough to sacrifice your safety, I applaud you on that, but you won't get very far here if you don't even listen to your superior, especially someone who's been here longer than you have." The shocked guard stared up at Kei, mouth hanging open in surprise. He was stuttering on asking how the blond had known, and with his trademark smirk, Kei muttered, "It's common sense. Now if you don't believe I am a doctor here, go to the East Wing and open the office just two doors away from the last door, it'll have my name on it, 'Tsukishima Kei', but please do hurry as I have to be in my office and with a patient by four and I do wish not to get yelled at as this is in fact a matter of importance and it is urgent that I be there on time, especially since Stoneridge will be sending someone again today, now open up the fucking door before I have to call Sugawara-san to let me in," he felt it unnecessary to add in the last part, but he wanted to get in he would have to resort to those measures.

 

The guard only stood there in shock, staring up at the glasses clad blond and visibly shaking by all the things Kei had said. However, Kei didn't stand there for any longer as the other guard gladly let him in, apologizing repeatedly for how his junior had acted, claiming he had only been here for two days. Kei dismissed it, and speed walked down the corridor, taking a few turns to reach the East Wing where his office was located. 

 

He held his wrist to a reasonable eye level and held his breath when he read the time, just ten minutes left. He sprinted just slightly, and was able to reach the last corridor of the East Wing. If he were to complain, Kei would cavil about how the whole institute was a maze. Just by turning a wrong corner, you get from the South Wing to the North Wing in just a matter of three turns, it had been proven by the younger doctors who had wanted to try out a shortcut and had instead gotten lost in the corridors for around an hour. It had been a hectic day, and had required a lot of overtime. He made it to his office without turning a wrong corner, which surprised him since not only was he sleepy, but he was in a hurry and a ton of thoughts occupied him from even thinking straight. He took out the key to his office‒he had gotten his hopes up, thinking it had been the key to his apartment‒ and briskly inserted it into the hole, twisting the knob and pushing open the oak wood door. 

 

He felt a chill run down his back when he stepped foot in, coming from the breeze of the window he had left open last night. He sighed and closed the door behind him, walking to his desk to set his briefcase down. Kei opened up the case to file through all the documents concerning Yamaguchi. Out of a bit of worry, he checked the clock in his office, the time telling him he only had three minutes to get to the lower levels of the asylum. He put the file under his arm and rushed out the door, sprinting around the corners to get to the entrance located in the North Wing. 

 

He passed by doctors and nurses, looks of surprise following him as they seemed to be shocked about Kei's punctuality. 

 

"Can't be late, not this time," he whispered to himself as he shoved his identification badge in the guard's faces, sprinting down the corridors of the maze like level. He felt an ache in his stomach, realizing that this was in fact the first time he had feared to be late to his shift. Kei wasn't one to worry too much about his job, but the challenge that had arisen prompted him to be early to work.

 

Soon he had reached Yamaguchi's cell, a worried Yachi standing in front of the door. She was pacing frantically, biting her lip and visibly shaking. "Sorry for being late," Kei called to her, startling her even more. She looked up at him and her face flushed, probably due to her anxiety, Kei thought. 

 

"I-It's okay," she muttered, bowing her head in embarrassment, her blonde hair creating a curtain around her face. Kei handed her Yamaguchi's file, looking at her sudden actions and her facial expressions.

 

"Are you sure you want to be here? I wouldn't expect you to tag along after what happened yesterday," he lightly said. 

 

"It's fine, I'm determined to do this," she whispered. 

 

"Is it because you want to impress Shimizu-san?" His tone rising up in a bit of a teasing manner. Yachi's face blushed a beet red and her eyes were darting to any place but Kei, stuttering on her own words as she tried to decline what he had just said. 

 

"N-N-No!" The blonde squeaked, covering her flustered face with her hands. She was hyperventilating, a nervous smile being hidden. 

 

"Never mind that then," Kei mused over the blonde's fret, "We've got work to do." He took his keycard out of the pocket of the white lab coat he had managed to barely grab from his office, and opened the door. "Good morning, Yamaguchi."  
-

 

-

 

-


	4. Chapter 4

-  
“Again, why do you think you’re here?” It had been the third time they had asked Yamaguchi the question, and each failed attempt led to a frustrated Kei and an amused Tadashi. 

“Well, everything starts off with an assumption, so tell me why you think I’m here,” he smiled cynically, poking Kei’s cheek.

“We’re not doing this again,” Kei hissed, glaring down at him as Yachi stood beside him, holding her clipboard close to her as if her life depended on it. 

“But we just did, we’ve done this more than the one time you told me you’d be capable of doing,” Yamaguchi laughed, staring up at Kei with wonder evident in his beautiful eyes. 

“Smartass,” Kei muttered, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back in the chair he had asked to be brought in. “Are you even going to show progress? If you aren’t going to cooperate I advise you to inform me as I do have work besides being here.”

“You’re being too truthful. That’s new for any doctor of mine,” Tadashi mused, bringing a finger to his chin, mocking a thoughtful pose. 

“Well, I wouldn’t want to waste my time on something useless,” Kei barked back, pushing up his black-framed glasses and staring at him. 

“Don’t say such things, that’s pretty rude,” Yamaguchi tonelessly said, sitting up straighter and looking into Kei’s orbs.

“Like you’d know about manners,” the blonde retorted, smirking and staring him down.

Yamaguchi laughed lightly, a sincere and pretty sound, and said, “I was raised properly, manners were included, Tsukki.” The look on Kei’s face was to die for, maybe even come back alive and die again, and realizing the amusement he was giving the boy before him, Kei dropped his farce and smiled,  one opposite of the one Yamaguchi had given them.

“Guess so. Now let’s continue with the session, Yachi-san if you will,” Kei directed his attention the blonde that stood beside his chair. She was a bit startled, but nodded her head and reached into her lab coat, pulling out a tape recorder, just the right size to be able to carry around. “Now, Yamaguchi, this is where things get serious. We encourage you to answer all of our questions truthfully, that way you can make progress and hopefully be able to return to society.” He nodded his head at Yachi who pushed the button, initiating the actual session. 

“Yamaguchi, can you tell us your full name and age?” Yachi asked. She had begun to feel braver around the mentally ill boy, even after yesterday’s outburst. 

“Tadashi Yamaguchi, age twenty-four,” he responded, rolling his eyes as if he was already bored of their silly questions. “I’m known as patient A-0 to you doctors and nurses.”

Yachi’s breath hitched and Kei tensed in his chair.

“You’re not supposed to know about that,” Kei scoffed, fumbling with the ring on his finger as a form of habit, the gold band conciliating him. 

“Yet I do, no offense but you guys don’t do a good job of keeping things from me, so I guess you’ve been warned, alright?” Yamaguchi smiled triumphantly, leaning forward just the slightest bit for it to go unnoticed by both blondes. 

“What happened to the manners?” Kei challenged him, smirking, even sitting up slowly from his previous position. He was amused by the patient that stood before him.

“Left them at the door, just like the rest of my sanity,” the freckled boy smirked, the distance between him and Kei shrinking with each passing second. 

“Figures. Onto the next question.”

“Where did you grow up?”

“Not too far from here, but a few cities over. The neighborhood I lived in was neat, but I didn’t go outside too much.”

“What about your childhood? How was it like? How did it make you feel? Do you think it played a major role in who you are as a person today?” Yachi’s voice got quieter until the point where her words were just as subtle as the wind’s susurating. 

“It was quite nice. I wasn’t the kid to go outside, while everyone my age was cruising in their Volvos I was studying to get into a great college, maybe an overseas university if my parents felt like it. Everyone was catcalling each other, fights were the most common thing, couldn’t go a day without one to consider it the usual boring day. Then our senior year of high school rolled over, everyone was fretting over their grades and the community college courses being offered downtown. I didn’t have many friends as I was probably known as a ‘flower child’. Even though I was called a ‘ditz’ multiple times, I got accepted into many colleges. Most of the people I hung around with were talking of trying out for Harvard, and I’d try my hardest not to laugh in their faces ‘cause for the longest time I was the only one that cared for my future. Last day of senior year, some of the boys at school invited me to play Chicken with them, they were up against a rival school. 

“Mind you, I wasn’t the most social kid, so any given chance I was invited out I’d take it, tell my parents that I was planning to study at someone’s house, and off I was. We met up near the edge of the city, where the old warehouses were, and heck, I was ecstatic. It was fun for the first hour, but one of the jocks from the rival school was pissed that we were taking the lead, not my fault he was friends with a bunch of pansies. He punched one of the guys I was with, think his name was Kuroo, something weird like that, and then a fight blew up. Someone called up the police and everyone was bookin’ it faster than the dude who’s girl told him she was pregnant. I wasn’t fast enough and got arrested, and I think you can make up what happened after that,” Yamaguchi was leering fondly at his ring finger, probably musing over something that had once been there.

Both of the doctors were stunned, staring at the patient who only returned a simple glance. 

“Tsukishima, can you write all that down for me?” Yachi whispered to Kei who reluctantly received the clipboard from the blonde. “You can summarize as you see fit, or shorthand it if it’s easier.” 

“Shorthand is for losers,” Kei muttered, managing to scribble stuff before Yachi managed to look over his shoulder and laugh lightly. 

“And yet you still know how?” Kei furrowed his eyebrows and grit his teeth, not bothering to look up at the blonde who was definitely giggling at his expense. “Tell me when you’re done, so we can move on.”

“Why does he have to write down what we’re saying, isn’t this already being recorded?” Yamaguchi asked, tilting his head to the side to emphasize his confusion and wonder. 

“Yes, we are indeed recording this session, but we do need at least something else in case we lose the recording and vice versa,” she explained kindly, smiling at him with a sincere grin.

“Hmm,” he hummed in response, not caring for the conversation any longer. 

Kei put down his pen and nodded over to the short girl, indicating to continue on with the questions. 

“I think we can take a small break from the personal questions, so let’s continue on with the present. What do you think of this institute, the doctors and the nurses,” Yachi inquired carefully. She had gone through this process a few times before and there had never been a patient who didn’t snap and try to attack her. Yamaguchi seemed like a reasonable young man, but he did have his tendencies and some dark habits that outed him out from time to time.

“It’s terrible here, not to mention no one really dares to stay longer than a week as my doctor.”

“Well, maybe we can change that. I’m pretty sure we can last longer than a week,” Yachi reassured. 

“No offense, but just yesterday he had to push you out of the way so you wouldn’t get hurt,” he muttered.

“But you were the one who initiated the conflict,” Kei interrupted, trying to defend probably the only person he didn’t find annoying, apart from Sugawara.

“I was?” There was something in the patient’s tone that chilled both doctors to the bone, an uneasy edge that made the both of them uncomfortable. 

“Yes, we had more than a handful of eyewitnesses who can tell you the same thing that we’ve informed you on,” Kei muttered, still being able to keep up with their conversation, even mustering enough talent to multitask by contributing to their conversation while jotting down what all three of them were saying. 

“Seems like life’s just cut out for you, ain’t it?” Yamaguchi practically sneered, straightening his back, but not for one second did his orbs have Kei out of their sight. His own fingers were clawing at each other, but the rest of his body was properly composed. 

“Sometimes you just have to work for what you want, Yamaguchi,” the blond’s eyes never looked up from the clipboard, the concentration was greatly admired by all who had met him. 

“And how exactly did you do it? You’re practically a golden boy. You’ve got a good job, great body, and you aren’t locked up here. How exactly did you work towards it?”

“This session isn’t about me. I guess we haven’t established that, so we’ll carry on with asking our questions and we’ll be able to call it a day until the evening,” he muttered. The small blonde who stood by his side drew in a hesitant breath, her body tensing up. He stopped to look at her, and could see the forced smile on her face. “Are you okay?”

“We can talk about that later,” she whispered, straining her composure and putting on an even more forced smile. Kei could practically read her, anyone who had half a brain could see right through her dilemma. Yachi was troubled by something, but he wouldn’t press to know. It wasn’t of any of his concern. “Do you think the people you were around with in your early years influenced you and shaped you as the person you are today?” 

“Most likely, I mean hanging out with people like them was a huge mistake. Of course, there was someone from time to time who would steer me onto the right path, but it didn’t last. Nothing except the constant disappointment from my parents was ever around.The way they would look down at me and force me to study. They wanted me to get into a good university and have a good job, loving wife and kids as well, but I didn’t want their golden life. I didn’t want a wife, she’d only bring me down and nag at me all day, it’s what my mother did anyways, and their idea of a good job would be to work in an office all day, go in early come back home late. 

“I didn’t want their life, I didn’t want to be just a copy, or the image society wanted me to be shaped into. No one tells you what they like about you, what you want to be instead of what you should be. No one wants to accept you for who you are, they want to be able to see something you’re not capable of. No one will praise you for what you are, all they want you to be is something useful. If you aren’t what they want, they’ll forget about you, or even worse tell you how worthless you are, and that’s about the worst thing you can say to a child who just wanted to make someone proud of them.” 

The way he looked down was the sight that ignited a fire in Kei, the sad tone in his voice, the way he wouldn’t meet his eyes just like he had been doing until that point. 

The blond pushed up his glasses, the sickening feeling in his stomach growing more noticeable with each passing second he was in the patient’s presence. 

“Let’s… wrap this up in a few minutes,” he looked down at the watch he had been given and sighed, “I promised Sugawara I’d review some of the documents from Bridgewood with him, just ten minutes from now.” It was a blatant lie, something he was hoping Yachi and Yamaguchi wouldn’t pick up on.

“We can end the session now, you’ll have to walk to your office and I’m assuming back to Sugawara’s office to discuss, you’ll have no time to spare if we continue with the session,” Yachi chimed in, a small smile playing at the edge of her lips. Kei nodded and stood up, directing his attention to the recorder. The young blonde seemed to get the memo and quickly muttered the memorized information before pressing the button, the end of their recording. “Have you short handed everything that was necessary?” She asked her tall companion. 

“Of course I did, what if you’re too flustered and clumsy that you lose your tape recorder? Those things aren’t cheap you know?” Kei lectured an even more anxious Yachi. 

“R-Right!” He laughed at the poor girl’s expense before diverting his gaze to the patient who had been too interested in their conversation. 

“We’ll meet you in the evening, just after your supper, to conclude the day’s treatment,” he told Yamaguchi who only waved him off. 

“Of course you will,” he muttered as Kei and Yachi stepped out of his cell. “Of course you’ll come back,” he whispered to himself, Kei tensing up at his sentence. 

Yachi locked the door behind them, her shoulders relaxing and her breathing going back to it’s steady pace. “I’ve something to tell you.”

“I figured as much,” Kei scoffed, looking down at the jittery blonde.

“How?”

“Your body language told me what I needed to know, your shoulders were pushed back and your posture was straighter than usual. Your breathing pattern was ragged as well, I’ve taken it upon myself to memorize my co-workers’ breathing pattern, it gets rather boring just analyzing people. The first week was all I needed to know that twentyfive percent of the staff here’s on drugs, a five percent of them are married, two percent is emotionally disturbed. The rest are… how should I put it? Nevermind. You wouldn’t even want to know,” he muttered, staring at the wall to his right, avoiding her unamused faced.

“I’m leaving work early, two hours before the next session, so you’ll be the only one handling him. I know you can manage, but I just thought it’d still be good of you to know,” she muttered, hanging her head and letting her bangs hide her chocolate brown eyes. She was twiddling her fingers, especially playing with her ring finger. She was longing for something on there, Kei noticed. She seemed to play with that finger the most, she obviously was hoping for something that seemed to make her sad. 

“You have something else to say,” the blond noted, starling the shorter of the two. She looked up with pink tinted cheeks and chewed on her lip nervously. “You’re still rather nervous, you usually calm down after you’ve spilled what’s made you nervous,” he explained to the flustered girl.

“Well, there is something, more of a favor of sorts that I need to ask of you,” she whispered, hanging her head once again so that her pale yellow bangs hung in front of her eyes, shielding them from the glasses-clad boy.

“What sort of favor?” Kei asked, losing more interest in their conversation as she hesitated. 

“Is it okay if I tell you later? I have something to do in a bit,” she muttered, stuffing her hands in the pockets of her lab coat. She waited for an approval from the towering blonde, who only shrugged and nodded, turning his back to her and walking down the corridor.

“Make sure to tell me soon, I don’t have much free time to spend on you,” he coldly called to her, only giving her one glance before he opened the door that led into the main chambers. “You’re not the only one who’s in need of my attention.”

The blond smirked to himself, looking back only once to see if she would even dare to follow after him. She sighed and walked out the corridor, giving a small nod of thanks as she walked by the cells of the mush-brained patients. 

After her exit, Kei locked the door that had led them to the mentally ill patient. 

“Of course I’m coming back, why would I not keep our promise?”

                             *     *     *     *

 

“What do you mean?” Kei hissed, glaring at the ashen-haired man sitting across from him. 

“Exactly what I said,” he responded with a playful roll of his eyes. “Honestly, I thought you would have listened the second time you asked me to repeat myself.”

“I was… busy,” the younger of the two muttered, crossing his arms over his chest and looking at the wall to his left. He bit his lip, narrowing his eyes and sighing at Suga’s light laugh. 

“You’re always busy,” he claimed as he looked up from the small object in his hand.

“Not entirely true, you know that by now.”

“Of course I’d know, how long has it been?”

“Too many years to count if you ask me.” Both men hummed in unison, the blond looking at the metal toy the ashen-haired boy held.

“What’s that?” Kei asked, pointing a pale finger at the piece of metal.

“You’ve never seen one?” Sugawara practically exclaimed, sitting up in his armchair and looking at Kei with wide eyes. 

“No.”

“Tsukishima, you never played with one as a child?”

“No. Why would I?”

“My God, you really aren’t pulling my leg here,” he paused a minute to laugh. He handed him the slinky, amused by the puzzled expression on Kei’s face. 

“What do I do with it?” Kei asked as he stared down idly at the object in his hand.

“You play with it,” Sugawara sighed. He looked at the confused boy for a few seconds before standing up from his comfortable armchair and making his way to the pitiful man. “You’re so dense sometimes. I wonder how you live on your own.”

“I had to eat instant ramen yesterday since I can’t cook well,” Kei muttered angrily as Sugawara came up from behind him and took Kei’s hands into his. 

“Hmm. It’s been awhile since you’ve had a homemade meal hasn’t it?” A hum in reply. “So what have you had since the last time I was there?”

The blond grit his teeth before muttering something that couldn’t be understood. He repeated what he had said at the sight of a questioning look given to him by Sugawara. “Instant ramen.”

“And?”

“That’s it.” It took the ashen-haired boy a few seconds to process the newly found information. 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me. There’s no way you can live off instant noodles for two years,” he sighed, running his hand through his hair. 

“I’ve gone out to eat on occasion if that helps. So it’s not just that every night. But I can see where you’re getting at. You know I can’t cook, so it’s a struggle to make myself dinner every night.”

“Get married then, get yourself a wife.” Hearing the words coming from his superior made Kei stiffen, his muscles tensing.

“Wife?” It was probably the most innocent and clueless question Sugawara had ever been asked in his life. The way the blond had asked it, the way his eyes showed little to no interest was pretty clear to Sugawara. “It’s pretty degrading to assume any woman would be put in charge of making the meals at home. Besides, I don’t plan to marry, marriage and I don’t mix well. A wife wouldn’t suit me anyhow.”

“I wasn’t expecting that long explanation, I just thought you didn’t swing that way.” The immediate pink tint Kai donned was something that told Sugawara that it was alright to joke once again.

“I-I don’t…” he answered in a smaller voice than before, hanging his head low and avoiding his superior’s amused stare.

“If you say so. Though it doesn’t mean I have to believe you.” Sugawara sat back in his chair, leaning back and closing his eyes, breathing evenly and calmly. 

“Shut up,” Kei scoffed, trying to hide the evident smirk on his face. “Isn’t it time for you to go?” Both of them looked up at the clock hung just behind the ashen-haired man. 

“I’m staying late again, I have… paperwork to do,” he muttered, making the blond smirk even wider, mischief shining in his coffee-colored eyes. 

“If you say so. Though it doesn’t mean I have to believe you,” he repeated the words Suga had said to him just minutes before, making his superior turn a shameful tint of red. “Send him the best of wishes from me, and do try to tell him to straighten out my dear brother, he’s starting to nag at me and I’m pretty sure it can be considered harassment.”

Kei’s ability isn’t news to Sugawara, not after knowing him ever since their early childhood, and reconnecting during their high school years. “I swear, that freaky thing you do gets on my nerves sometimes,” he spoke nervously, throwing in a curt laugh to ease up his tension and uncomfortableness. 

“It’s only because you’re ordinary. Ordinary people do tend to feel and think that way,” the blond muttered, his volume lowering as he spoke. 

“You always speak as if you’re higher than us ordinary people, why is that?” Suga asked, locked his hands together and staring at the frame of his companion’s glasses. 

“Can you analyze people in just a few minutes?” Kei challenged, taking a sip of the tea that had been set up just a few minutes before his arrival.

“No, I’m afraid that’s why I hold a tad bit of jealousy towards you. You’re about two years younger than me, yet you are smarter than I could ever be in my life. My mother used to compare me towards you, she’d rather have you as her son.” Kei nodded in understanding, he had suspected as much with the special treatment he had gotten from the elder’s mother, but hearing him say it was a new melody to his hears. “She was rather fond of you, and once we met again in high school she was delighted. You see, she’s a professor at the university just a few cities over, and had even opted to become a therapist at one point in her life. If you ask me, her psychology lessons were meaningful to her and you caught her eye. She wanted to study you, which seems creepy, but that’s the kind of person she is. You had her attention, so I was quite jealous growing up, but I don’t care about that anymore, however, that ability of yours doesn’t cease to amaze me. Especially when you flaunt it around.”

“I’ve told you before, it’s just analyzing people carefully. Even the simplest of people, per say Hinata or Kageyama, could do it if they put their minds to it. It’s fairly easy, put your troubling thoughts at ease and just analyze. It’s not hard, Sugawara,” Kei says, looking up at the ceiling as he leans into the comfortable chair of Sugawara’s office. 

“I guess you’re right on one part, but are you sure simple people could really do it?”

“Practically positive, don’t worry about it,” Kei reassured him, looking at him directly in the eyes. “Besides, over analyzing people isn’t healthy, it gets to you after a while.”

“Then why can’t you stop?” It’s the most obvious question in response to Kei’s statement, but yet it’s the one he’s not prepared for, the one he hadn’t had an answer for, for years. 

“I’ll get back to you on that, Sugawara,” Kei whispered, hanging his head and letting his short bangs try to hide his eyes from the older man. 

“Even after all these years, you’ve never had an answer for me.” It isn’t like Kei’s been keeping track of all the times Suga has asked him the question, it’s just that the instance is of so little occurrence, he can count all the times he’s asked on one hand. 

“Please wait for just a little more, Sugawara, as I have yet to find the bane of my reason.”

 

                     *     *     *     *    

“Alright Yamaguchi, I’ve only about less than an hour so let’s make this quick.” The blond stared down and the patient rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, waiting for a conscious Tadashi to at least contribute one piece of valuable information.

“The light’s too bright, you know,” Yamaguchi muttered, squinting his eyes and sitting up in his bed.

“At least I’ve gotten you to sit up at this ungodly hour, so as long as you aren’t sleeping for the rest of this session that’s good.”

“What time is it?” Yamaguchi asked, rubbing his eyes and sneezing lightly. “It feels like it’s too late to do this.”

“Oh don’t complain about it, it’s barely just a quarter past eight. You’re too used to sleeping early, aren’t you Yamaguchi?” 

The freckled boy hums, the sleep not yet being able to leave him, so anything that doesn’t make the young doctor lash at him is a small victory, 

“Alright, it’s just a follow-up appointment to the one Yachi-san and I did earlier, so it should go by quicker. To start off, can you tell me how you’re feeling right now?” Kei asks, the tape recorder having started recording as soon as he had turned on the light in Yamaguchi’s cell. He didn’t keep eye contact with Yamaguchi as he had no one to log in their conversation as an insurance for if something happened to the recording. 

“I’m tired, some horrible person just woke me up from my sleep and I’m mad about that,” he pouted, narrowing his eyes at the blonde who only grimaced in response. 

“What about your mental state? How do you feel about that?”

“The same as I’ve always felt about it. It doesn’t exist.”

“You’re keeping your answers short. Why is that?”

“I don’t think I’ve told you, but I’m mad that someone woke me up from my sleep. Being here day and night without being able to socialize or do anything is pathetic. You should try it sometime, then maybe you’ll be able to understand me better that way.” Tsukishima hums in response to what the patient’s just said, the tiniest bit of interest not being able to make itself visible. 

“I used to have a friend when I was younger. He was exactly like you, and we were the best of friends, but one day, he did something wrong and I never saw him again,” Kei muses, looking up from his clipboard and staring at Tadashi. “I’m afraid you won’t cooperate any further, and it’s fine by me. I have to leave rather early today anyway, so I’ll take advantage of this rare opportunity.” Kei sighs, stopping the recording with the press of the “stop” button. The room’s silent except for the shuffling noises Kei’s created as he packs up to drop off his things in his office and leave. 

“Wait! Tsukki…” Yamaguchi begins, making Kei tense and look at the patient’s shine in his beautiful eyes. 

“What do you want, Yamaguchi?” Kei asks, a small tone of worry laced in his words. He knows what Tadashi’s about to ask, and his heart races so fast that at one point he’d rather it burst out of his chest. At least then he wouldn’t be made to suffer the anxiety, the fear, even the lust and longing that’s been plaguing him the last few years.

“Can you… tell me more about your friend?”  
-

 

-

 

-


	5. Chapter 5

“Why should I?” Kei asked as he tried to hide how wide his eyes had gone at the mention of such a request.

The small blonde stared at him, a plea in her coffee brown eyes. “Please, it’s just for three days.”

Kei scoffed, leaning back in his office chair as Yachi fidgeted in her own. They were currently in Kei’s own office, a meeting Yachi had requested on the phone last night. “It’s too long. Besides, why don’t you ask Hinata? He’s a better suit for you.” At the mention of the other doctor’s surname, Yachi’s face grew red and she stammered out many excuses at once

“I-I can’t! Besides… I already asked him,” she whispered, hanging her head to look at her twiddling fingers that fiddled due to the prominent atmosphere.

“He declined, that’s why you’re asking me,” Kei nodded his head in understanding, his attention on the tedious slinky Sugawara had let him borrow the day before.

Yachi nodded, a wave of discomfort washed through her, her face being pulled into one of skittish emotions. “He said he didn’t want to be something he wasn’t.”

“Hinata is too moral,” Kei remarked with venom. “He values doing the right thing too much. I’m surprised he’s been here this long.”

“Well, it’s just been four years since he came, and we’ve been here around five,” Yachi said as she lifted up her head. “But we’ve known each other longer than just five years. It’s another reason why I’ve also come to you.”

Kei could hear the frail tone she addressed him in. His eyes widened in the slightest as he realized just how terrified she was. It’s not her usual fretful aura, in fact, in all the years Kei had known the blonde girl, he had never felt such uneasiness in her presence.

Kei hasn’t changed much since he was a child, meaning he still likes to play games with people. Sugawara had scolded him many times before, telling him that it was wrong and that if he kept on doing it he’d be sent away. _Just like him._

It was a known fact that many people thought fatalistic notions about the way Kei was. The majority of people thought him to be a show-off, a hothead to say the least. At times he himself had agreed with his club of haters. Kei didn’t like being able to read people easily, in fact, he loathed it, wished he hadn’t been born like that.

He had always feared he’d be taken away, that his parents would grow tired of him and the way he viewed regular people below him due to how he thought. Sugawara and he had had a friend who was the same age as him. He’d left, both boys under the impression that he’d been taken away, and it had served as a lesson to both Kei and Sugawara.

Every time the blond had acted up or showed any sign of possessing the ability to over analyze things, Sugawara would scold him and say _“If you don’t stop, you’re going to be taken away. Just like him.”_ The very bane of those words had traumatized Kei for years, but he told himself that if it wasn’t for those words, he would have ended up in a terrible place.

_One way or another_ , he had decided the day he had accepted the internship at the asylum, _I was bound to end up here._

Kei shivered and noticed that the blonde had asked him a question, waiting for a response from him.

“Sorry, can you repeat that?” Kei muttered meekly, ashamed to have zoned off.

“I-I really would appreciate you doing it for me,” Yachi starts again, pleading for the response she’s looking for.

“I’d like to, but the thing is that there won’t be anything in it for me,” Kei replied with the maximum decency he could muster.

The blonde’s face fell and he could see the disappointment in her eyes. It was not a real look of distress, she had done this to him countless times before. He chewed on his lip and tried to look anywhere else besides where she sat, right in front of him.

“Are you sure? I heard you talking with Sugawara yesterday, about how you haven’t had a proper meal cooked for you in a while,” she smiled meekly but Kei could read past her, he had always been able to. She was manipulating him, something she wouldn’t have been able to do when he first met her in high school. She had learned from him over the years, analyzing him in her own way and developing his manipulative skills. He knew exactly where Yachi was getting at, roping him into her favor by baiting him with his most recent concern. Her smile was meek, as if she was ashamed of being this pushy. This must have been important to her.

“What are you getting at?” Kei wanted more details, things to judge and consider so he wouldn’t be so caught up on how guilty Yachi’s expression made him feel.

“If you do agree, it’d involve a weekend of home cooked meals,” she whispered, shying away from him and looking at the office’s floorboards.

“Fine.” The small blonde perked up, her pale yellow bangs swaying to the movement of her head looking up to meet the dark eyes of the young doctor. She smiled at him, not in the least bit identical to the manipulative smile from just about a minute ago. “Consider yourself lucky, Yachi,” Kei begins with the huff of frustration, “I’m only doing this because I’ve known you since high school, besides we’re close friends.” Yachi nodded at that, and just to humor her he added, “I’m also in it for the free dinner.”

“Free dinner,” Yachi repeats, trying to subside her giggles. She’s being too adorable, the smile on her face sweet while her eyes seemed to lighten up the room. Kei’s mood lightened and his attention shifted to the slinky in his hands.

“Free dinner,” he whispered softly, leaning back in his armchair to stare at the plain ceiling. “I guess it’ll be somewhat worth it.”

“Thank you for doing this,” she smiled kindly at him, standing up slowly from her chair and stalking to the door.

“Where are you going?” Kei asked her. Her subtle leave had been detected, but she couldn’t have expected anything less than that.

“I’ve got some paperwork that’s been piling up, my deadline is tomorrow,” she responded, head still turned towards the direction of the door. “Remember, Friday night at eight sharp.” Without saying anything else she turned the knob and pulled the door open, stepping out and leaving the doctor to his comfortable silence.

“Why do I even bother,” he muttered, opening the drawer of his desk to fish out a pen. As Yachi had said, Kei himself had to sign off some documents that were due the next day. His weary gaze wandered to the tall stack of papers that had been a mess over his desk a few hours prior. He hated his job, just like he hated just about anything and anyone else. He hated the way he had to work at ungodly hours, how he’d always have to stay later than usual. He hated the snobs at Stoneridge and Bridgewood and how they’d look down on Wilkshire, how they’d treat them horribly and think they were on a higher pedestal than them. It made his blood boil to even think of them, laughing at the fact that Wilkshire was left to clean after their messes, how once Stoneridge and Bridgewood start a project, Wilkshire must be the one who finishes it.

Kei’s hated the way Wilkshire is positioned at, and he hates his brother for getting him the internship that started his job here in the first place. He hates the year he spent being treated like shit, the time he spent effortlessly being promoted from position to position, each one gaining him respect and an arrogant reputation at all three asylums. He hated that, he hated being known, he hated the fact that he was treated differently when it was known who he was. Kei wasn’t fond of it, but he often relieved the tension and stress in unnatural and maybe even sinful ways, but as long as people thought poorly of him he didn’t care. As long as they hated him, they’d most likely leave him alone. If only he himself could vie for that rule.

He was bored. Bored of the documents, bored of his office, bored of work, and definitely bored out of his mind. He didn’t want to overview the papers, in fact, he didn’t even need to, however, he didn’t want people to think that he was a lazy employee.

Without even thinking, he started to sign his signature on the documents, not caring to read what they even said. He wouldn’t get in trouble for it, but he would cause some of the lower departments a week of overtime. He’d end up being hated by them even more, like the time he had accidentally signed the release form of a patient that had killed her whole family by starving them in her basement and cutting off a body part to use for the rest of the family’s dinner.

It took about a month to find the woman again, seeing as she had gone off the grid. His superior’s had overlooked it as a sign of stress and had called him sleep deprived, in result he had been given a week off work. However, the department that had given him the release forms had been told off for even thinking about releasing such an ill woman. To say the least, they had taken the blow instead of him.

He didn’t learn his lesson, how could he when he was being treated like he wasn’t a complete twat. He was like a child that wouldn’t be scolded, he wouldn’t stop until someone would tell him what he was doing was wrong.

He felt disgusted with himself, to say the least. Tsukishima Kei was nothing but a manipulative man, but people still found the way to “befriend” him. He hated those people, the ones who saw the good in everything. They got on his nerves too often and he was irritated by the excuses they used to cover up every single bad thing that happened throughout the day.

He was too caught up in his argumentative mind until his daze was broken by the headline of a document. It was typed on normal copy paper, too common and unimportant to catch the blond’s eye, but as his dark eyes scanned the letters that made up the words that weren’t making any sense at the moment, the pace his heart beat at accelerated. By the time he was done reading, he was out of breath, eyes wide, and panting vigorously, gulping in breaths almost as if the air was being sucked out of him.

It had happened only once before, when he was around nine years old. Sugawara had been there to comfort him and it had been a grieving day for the both of them. Kei’s sure that the ashen-haired man had long forgotten the event that had scarred Kei for the rest of his life. He hadn’t lost his best friend, in fact, he and Daichi are still best friends to this day. No one knows the level of mental torture Kei went through that day, but there were certainly bystanders who feared his outburst, like his mother who only stood idle at the door of his room, glazed eyes staring at his body that heaved on the bed.

Kei’s knuckles turned white with the tightening grip of the paper he held in his hands, slowly crumbling it. His anxiety was acting up, turning into a panic attack all too quickly. Of course, this was all inside his head, the memories that were resurfacing, the painful ones that had damaged his mind as a child. He hated those the most, his childhood memories. Nothing was special about it, life wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. You live your life and then you die, and that was it. Nothing followed it which is why Kei didn’t think too much of what he wanted to do. He’d usually go out for coffee on the weekends if he didn’t have to work, making it rare for him to ever rest in a small cafe near his apartment.

His anxiety was fading slightly and he finally found the correct way to breathe correctly, his knuckles going back to the natural pale pigment of his skin. He stared down at the crumpled paper in his hand and sat up in his chair, stretching his right arm before throwing the document across the room in a fit of rage. He hated his family, hated them with his whole heart if he even had one. His mother never meddled enough in his life to make him decide what he wanted to do in his life and all his older brother would do was nag, but at least he had cared enough to meddle once or twice in Kei’s life.

The ringing of the phone in Kei’s office was enough to snap the blond from his trance. His eyes averted to the phone that sat to his left, mocking him with a deafening ring. He had a sickening feeling he knew who it was, but he still held onto a hope that he was wrong.

“Hello?” Kei practically hissed into the speaker, the venom in his tone noticeable, and maybe his exclamation could be heard miles away.

“Glad you picked up, how long has it been?” The voice on the other end of the line was oddly cheerful, going against every one of Kei’s expectations.

“Don’t talk to me as if we’re chums! We’re quite the opposite actually!” Kei demanded over the line while the man only chuckled in response.

“You’ve always been like this haven’t you?” There was a huff in reply and the man chuckled. “You got worse when he left.”

The blond’s face paled and he found himself at a short loss of words. “How dare you bring him up?” Kei whispered into the receiver, too afraid that a bypasser could listen in on their conversation. He knew he was being paranoid, but he had to be careful in his line of work.

The man chuckled, replying with, “Because you’re obviously stressed about something. I can hear it in your voice and judging by the whisper and haste you’re speaking with, you don’t want anyone to hear you conversing with me.”

“Of course I don’t you dolt! I have enough stress as it is and I don’t need any extra problems to trouble me!” By the time he said that there was already a knock on Kei’s door and a worried voice that followed the sharp rasp at the door.

“Tsukishima? Are you okay in there?” The voice belonged to the current head of the institute, and Kei couldn’t help but wish for the quickest death possible.

“Is that Daichi? Tell him I say ‘hello’!” Not only has he been left to deal with idiots all day, he might have to end up spending his night with a few more.

“I’m fine!” Kei called out to Daichi, who he assumed would try to force Kei to talk to him, so he quickly added, “I’m talking to someone!”

He could hear the shuffle of feet at his door and made out Daichi’s voice a little more clearly. “By the way, Tsukishima, the director of Stoneridge asked me to forward you a message.”

The blond grit his teeth, but he still forced out a polite reply to his superior. “I’ll try to swing by in a bit, let me just wrap up this call,” he all but yelled, pouring out a bit of his frustration. He silently hoped Daichi wouldn’t take much offense to the slight annoyance that he knew he heard, being the person who could put an end to his money making career.

Daichi voiced his agreement and off he was on his way to his office, or more like Sugawara’s, where he always was. But it’s practically his with the way he likes to walk in unannounced.

“If you already sent a message then why would you call me?” Kei all but hisses, grinding his teeth as his hand’s grip tightened on the telephone.

“Well, I did see this from three other perspectives. You’re not exactly an approachable person, so I tried the letter, this phone call, and just ringing your director.”

It didn’t take a while for the blond to process the information he had just received, but he took his time in trying to procreate a reasonable reaction. However, it didn’t come and instead, he whispered, “Does it have to be this weekend?”

There’s a minute of slight hesitation from the man on the other line, but it’s quickly replaced by the small chuckle he bore to only him. “Why? Do you have plans?”

Kei’s face heats up and he can’t help but hiss through his clenched teeth. “Of course I have plans!”

“Do you have a girlfriend now?”

“If you don’t shut up about my personal life I will hang up right now!” There was an audible shuffle and clatter that could be heard legibly from the other line. Hee heard the man speak once more, and Kei was convinced that it was of importance. “I’ll be there Friday night at five,” he muttered into the phone, the dial tone ringing in his ears while the man’s words echoed in his head.

He couldn’t help but dwell on the conversation, and he soon felt his stomach and heartache, and for the first time in years, Kei feels homesick.

* * * *

“I’m home,” Kei muttered to himself as he pushed the front door to his apartment open. His words weren’t directed to anyone in particular, but it made him feel a little less lonely if he let those words linger in the air only he dares to breathe.

He had encountered Kenma outside of the lift, his golden eyes fixated on him and his movements. He had stopped to chat for just a few minutes, declaring the conversation over when Kenma averted his eyes from Kei’s figure and his words stop flowing out of his lips.

The blond locked his door, leaving his briefcase at the foot of his coat rack and sitting in the armchair that sat off to the side of his spacious living room. The television set had cost him a fortune, but he rarely used it. He’d turned it on to keep him company so that there would be voices to fill his pretty much empty apartment.

He reached over to his right, where a small coffee table was placed, and reached for the remote. Turning on the television, Kei surfed through a few channels before the title of the American show caught his eye.

Kei had never been able to keep up with Star Trek for the past few years, he’d watch an episode from the beginning and a few months later end up in the middle of the series. He decided, for the sake of not going to bed, to watch just a few minutes of it. “It’s only eleven, to begin with,” he had whispered, standing up from the comfortable armchair and heading to his kitchen to raid his cabinets in search of any junk food.

The chorus of voices was keeping Kei company, and he was thankful for the fact that he was actually familiar with the American actors. The ringing of his phone made him groan, turning his stove off and hoping his popcorn wouldn’t burn. Like the last time, and the time before that, or any time Kei had tried to cook.

“What do you want?” Kei falsified the sleepiness in his tone, hopefully tipping off the late night caller and convincing them to leave him alone.

“Tsukishima, I know it’s late, but can I come over?” There was a frantic tone in Sugawara’s voice, along with something else, and all of a sudden Kei was afraid.

“Of course. What’s wrong?” Kei mentally slapped himself as he heard his voice, how his concerned tone sounded almost the exact same as the one he reserved for when he was frustrated.

He could hear Sugawara hiccup and a chorus of a few slurred words slipping out of his mouth, words he could barely make out. He’d been drinking.

“I-I’ll tell you when I get there.” Kei was left with the ever taunting dial tone. His stomach churned and he already felt his nonexistent dinner making it’s way up his throat. He had a sickening feeling that he already knew why Sugawara had been drinking, with his recent luck it’s guaranteed. Karma was catching up with him, as slow as a tortoise.

He waited nervously on his sofa, Star Trek long forgotten, yet he still has the attention span to catch a few of Spock’s lines. Kei’s childhood habits started to show when he caught himself biting his filed nails. He couldn’t help it though, not when there was a possibility the reason for Sugawara’s late night visit was a secret they had thought had been long buried.

There was a knock at his door preceded by a slurred swear from Sugawara. He’d only had the luck to see Sugawara like this once, back in high school when he had caught his girlfriend of five years sleeping with someone else, that someone being Daichi. He had given his best friend the silent treatment, and one night he had dragged Kei to a bar with him, where he had gotten incredibly drunk. They had run into Daichi, who was just as hammered as Sugawara. They’d both ditched the blond, and it had later been revealed that they had slept together that same night. The bliss didn’t last though, and Kei would rather forget those ill filled months.

“Come in,” Kei ushered the ashen-haired man inside. “I’m surprised you actually got here in one piece.

“I’m not as think as you drunk I am,” Sugawara deadpanned, his eyes a bottomless depth of the secrets he spills when he drinks.

“Can I offer you anything?” Kei asked politely as Sugawara collapsed in Kei’s armchair.

“Water please,” he muttered, his eyes lingering on the ceiling above them. He was handed a glass of water a few seconds later, thanking the blond for the hospitality.

“So why have you been drinking, Sugawara-san,” the blond began, choosing his words carefully.

Sugawara sat up slowly, body wincing and legs over the arms of the chair, Kei could hear the pitiful moan he let out.

“Was it about Daichi?” Sugawara muttered something the blonde couldn’t comprehend, shaking his head lightly. “Then… is it about him?” Sugawara’s body stiffened and Kei knew he had hit the jackpot. “Do you wanna talk about it?” A shrug.

“Sugawara, you know you shouldn’t be drinking. Why is it that every time there seems to be a tragedy, you turn to swig a whole bottle of vodka?” Kei asked, preparing tea for the possible hangover Sugawara would have if he raided Kei’s cabinets.

“I know, but I can at least forget all the shit I’m going through,” he whispered, finally managing to sit correctly in the armchair, peering at Kei who had just set the water to boil in the teapot.

“I guess. Do you want to talk about it though?” His question was answered by a response that made his heartbeat quicken.

“I got his files earlier, the ones from years ago.” It was enough of an impact to make the blond’s breathing stagger and his dark eyes narrow in disbelief.

“No. It’s not possible,” he muttered, leaning against his kitchen counter. “I heard those were lost years ago. You told me that yourself!” There was pity in the other man’s eyes and that makes the blond snap. “That’s it. I’m raiding the cabinet.” And he does. By the time Sugawara starts coming back to his senses, he can already see the five empty bottles of beer and a half-empty bottle of wine.

He found the blond taking a swig from another bottle of beer, sitting on the floor of his kitchen, and it’s in his instinct to hide the bottle of Tequila he knows the blond conceals behind the cereal boxes. He swings his legs off the armchair and stands up, collapsing in the armchair once again when the room started to spin rapidly.

There was a period of silence that lasted only a few minutes, Sugawara closing his eyes to avoid the already predicted migraine, and Kei taking swigs of the almost empty wine bottle.

“I’m sorry I lied to you,” Sugawara groaned, finally able to manage standing up without the feeling of nausea washing through him.

“And I’m sorry your girlfriend slept with someone else,” came the awaited salty reply from the blond.

“I’m sorry she did as well,” he muttered, making his way to the kitchen and sliding down to the floor next to the blond.

“Are you really sorry?” Kei whispered meekly, looking up from the bottle.

“Of course I am. I should have noticed the signs when she said that’d she would go to the mall with Rin when they had broken off their friendship the day prior.”

“I didn’t mean that.” And at those words, Sugawara was overcome with fear, remorse, and a whole deal of guilt.

“Definitely. It was wrong of me to do so.”

“Who else knew?”

There was hesitation in the young adult’s voice before he decided to answer in what he hoped was convincing enough. “No one. Only me and your brother.”

At the mention of the former’s sibling, he stood up and dropped the bottle he had been sipping on the marbled tiled counter. The beginning of a swear was on the tip of the blond’s tongue when the other interrupted him.

“I have the files.”

“I don’t care about them,” he slid back to the floor and pushed up his glasses.

“But at the-”

“I thought he was dead. I couldn’t live with myself with the thought of it being my fault. We were different, and I had convinced him to speak out while I was too afraid to follow suit. I can see why you lied, so don’t worry about that, but what does anger me is the fact that for more than fifteen years I had to guilt trip myself into believing he had died because of me. That messes with your head, you know?” The guilt had been lifted from Kei, and with pitiful eyes, he turned to look into Sugawara’s own.

“You’re directing the blame on me,” he whispered in realization, his mouth opening in shock so that it somewhat resembles the ever comical ‘O’ but yet not quite.

“No I’m not!” Kei exclaimed, the utter thought of being blamed for something he knew he was doing was ridiculous to him.

“There you go again!” The ashen-haired boy smiled, thinking he had caught the blond in the act.

“Whatever, but anyways,” Kei began, “I want you to know I’m not mad. Just disappointed.”

“You sound like a parent whose kid just got in trouble and they’re doing that reverse psychology shit they’re always doing,” Suga laughed lightly, the blond glaring in response.

“But I am disappointed in you, how could you lie to me for all these years?” There wasn’t a response, and it wasn’t like Kei was looking for one in the first place.

“Do you have work tomorrow? Or more like in a few hours?” There was a nod in response and another in acknowledgment.

“I have to turn in some documents and then I have a meeting later today day, then I have just one session. I should be able to get out before three in the afternoon though. Is there anything you need?”

The shorter of the two shook his head and smiled. “Just that one meeting at noon, other than that I don’t need to stay at work. I was asking to see if you wanted to have dinner, my treat,” he said, starting to sober up.

“Sure, I could use the free meal. As you can tell, I can’t cook to save my life. I wouldn’t even try to be quite frank with you. I know exactly what I’m capable of, I analyze myself and reflect on what I do every few years and then give myself a diagnosis.” Noticing the slight confusion in the other man’s features he laughed humorlessly. “My older brother wanted to be a doctor when we were younger but sought to it that it’d be better for him to work with mentally ill patients. ‘It’ll be just like talking to you, except they’ll actually be human!’” A snort. “I hated him.”

“Remember my mother wanted me to be a lawyer?” And just like that, both young men were reminiscing about their childhood memories.

“Your father was a lawyer, wasn’t he? What happened to him?” Kei squinted at the cupboards in front of them while Suga stared off at the timer on the oven.

“Don’t you recall? They got a divorce my third year of high school and just five years ago he was mugged and stabbed to death.”

The truth was, Kei did remember exactly what had happened with the latter's father. Well, at least the murder. He had been called in by the police to help solve it, only due to the fact that he had been taken in for questioning since he had been the only “witness” in a fifty-mile radius. He hadn’t told Sugawara though, he had thought that if he did then he would be crushed.

“They caught the culprit though, I remember reading that in the newspapers. It was your mother’s older brother wasn’t it, just can’t quite recall the motive. If I was him I would have most likely killed him as well, but of course, I would have waited a little more than just five years! If my little sister’s husband had had an affair with my own secretary I’d want blood as well. Of course, that was an idiotic move, but the wait must have been enough, if he had done it when it had first come to light I would have known it was him, involved with the murder in two ways-”

“I get what you mean, now shut up before I even think about punching you.” It came out softly, but Kei could already hear the tiniest hint of annoyance in his friend’s tone.

Kei’s eyes had widened just a bit in the realization of his run on sentences, concluding that the other wasn’t fibbing, the shaking of his clenched fist gave it away. “Okay.”

“Where do you want to go out to eat? Tonight’s the Friday night special at the diner just a few streets from here.”

The blond cocked his head to the side, thoughts pouring in all at once. “It’s Friday?”

The other half of the pair cackled in laughter, wiping a nonexistent tear from his eye. “Of course it is. Meetings are always on Fridays, remember?”

Kei groaned and leaned back on the wood of the cupboard, pinching the bridge of his nose and exhaling sharply. “I have dinner with Yachi tonight, and not to mention I have an appointment before that. I completely forgot.” At the mention of the female doctor, Sugawara raised his eyebrows and smiled mischievously.

“So dinner at her place? Hmm, sounds interesting,” he said, his tone a teasing one, and boy did it do the job. Kei’s face flared red and he stuttered while coming up with a proper comeback.

“I-It’s not like that!” Kei exclaimed, his eyes widened while his fingers messed with the golden ring on his hand.

“Yeah, I understand. You’re definitely not planning to make a move on her while you’re at her apartment,” Sugawara cooed.

“You’re worse than my mother when it comes to teasing me,” he deadpanned, his blush starting to pale back to the snowy hue of his skin.

“I’m your mother now!” Sugawara declared, a goofy smile on his face.

“You can’t say those sorts of things! Are you sure you’re even sober?”

“Don’t talk to your mother that way! You’re grounded!”

“You can’t ground me! I’m an adult!”

“Fucking watch me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates are going to be really slow as I have four other projects I have to be working on, my apologies on these slow updates but I hope you enjoy this chapter! 
> 
> Hit me up on tumblr if you have any questions, comments, and even theories! I love to hear what you guys think about this story and the theories you come up with! My tumblr is Thatastrophile!


	6. Chapter 6

Kei’s had his fair share of experiences when it comes to scolding, however, he’s never had the pleasure to be “grounded” by Sugawara.

“And when you’re at her door, compliment her outfit,” he rambled on, both of them still sitting on the kitchen floor. He still held a wine bottle while the blond gazed at the ceiling with boredom. The ashen-haired boy had insisted that if Kei did have an early morning session, he would need to be there before eleven, but that’s where he had stopped, having found the spare bottle of wine Kei had stored in his other cabinets.

“Go home, you’re drunk,” Kei had said to him with annoyance, but the doctor didn’t budge. Instead, he had started a one-sided conversation.

The seven o’clock alarm had rung about three times when Kei was finally fed up.

“I have papers to turn in, I can’t stay any longer. Besides, you’re having your own little conversation. You’re welcome to stay, just don’t raid the Tequila cabinet or I’ll send you the bill.”

In the span of five minutes, a personal record if he does say so himself, Kei was ready and out the door, taking the lift to the lower level parking garage. He saw a few of his neighbors making their way hazily to wherever they needed to be; school, work, you get the gist.

He was already on his way to work by the time he would be waking up if it had been a regular day. He definitely hated his job.

During his late-night talk with Sugawara, Kei had realized a few things, thoughts he hadn’t had in years. With the call of the director the night before, Kei was starting to feel odd. His anxiety and fears were starting to resurface, and Kei despised it all.

He hadn’t felt the need to put blame on anyone for the last fifteen years, how could he when he tried his best to stay away from problems and people all together? On top of all that, Kei was a fragile vase ready to break.

He didn’t stop at the traffic lights, how could he when he had so much on his mind and almost no sleep? If anything, he could start the blame game right there and then. He’d start by billing Sugawara his traffic fines, and then he’d make him pay for all the alcohol he had consumed in the early morning.

He pulled up into the small parking lot, turning the engine off as soon as he settled into a free space. He sat there for a while, head in his hands, breathing slower than what he was accustomed to. Kei wasn’t the type of person to rely on fate or anything like that, and hell he wishes that he wouldn’t even need to dwell on the subject.

He was startled from his trance by the knock on his car window. He looked out into the foggy setting before releasing a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. Kei stepped out of his car, making sure to lock it, and sighed, looking down at the small blonde.

“You’re early,” she remarked, arms behind her back. The wide smile she bore was enough to brighten up the darkness of the sky, that is his he was to use an example.

“I suppose I am,” he responded, emotionless tone easing up to be a softer one. Taking into account who he was and the people who he had to deal with, this tone was hardly ever used.

“Guess so,” she whispered, the small sigh at the end bringing attention from the towering blond.

“I’ll be there before six, so you shouldn’t worry. People tend to do so due to my history of coming late to work. Of course, I don’t have much interest in work or this dinner, but a promise is a promise.” Suddenly, Yamaguchi’s words start to ring in his head and he’s reminded of what he had said the day prior.

“We can start his session in ten minutes if you would like, the sooner the better,” she said lightly. The blonde was surprisingly in a good mood, but Kei dismissed any thought that came to tell him it was due to their dinner that evening.

“Alright,” he voiced, slipping back into his monotone world. “I don’t have much to do, save the meeting and the documents I was in charge of.”

“Oh yes, the meeting,” Yachi squeaked out, her coffee brown eyes going wide as she stuttered out a million words at once. “I forgot I’m supposed to present our budget for the cold seasons of next year. I’m so glad I worked on it as soon as I was assigned to it, with all this pressure lately I’m not sure I would have even remembered if you hadn’t brought it up,” she kept on rambling when they walked in, and even managed to switch topics around once or twice on their way to the lower levels.

“Key please,” Kei interrupted as they got to the double doors that led into the lower levels of the institute. Yachi had been talking his ears off for the past few minutes, so he wasn’t surprised that she was in her own little world. He nudged her this time, and out of her daze she was as she stared blankly at him. “Key,” he repeated once again, even going to the trouble to mimic a lock and a key with his hands.

“Almost forgot,” she mumbled, her face becoming a soft shade of rouge as she fished out the key from her lab coat pockets.

“Almost?” Kei scoffed, adding the roll of his eyes for the sake of aesthetic.

“Alright, I did, at least you reminded me though,” she whispered, inhaling sharply, then letting her shoulders relax. “I hope he cooperates today, and hopefully he wasn’t too much trouble in my absence.”

  
“His behavior was adequate. I wouldn’t worry too much, but he definitely did seem out of it, if you can even consider how he usually is normal,” he informed her, looking at the hall of empty cells. They never dared to keep any of the dangerous patients out in the open like this, they’d normally leave them in the most secure part of the lower levels, but after Yamaguchi’s arrival, not many patients were deemed as crazy as him.

Kei still pondered what exactly had happened to Yamaguchi, how he had made the rest of the invalid bunch they catered to look like mere helpless children. The way his eyes looked daze whenever he spoke had been rumored to make almost anyone feel the tiniest bit uncomfortable. He hadn’t thought to put any effort into figuring out who Yamaguchi was, but more like how he had become that way. Other than that, he had no interest in associating with him.

They got to his cell no sooner than they had during their previous visit, but both of the doctors had eased up a tad of their pent-up tension. Kei didn’t contribute to their conversation, not that he was obliged, but the part of the orator had no doubt been taken by Yachi. She was surprisingly bubbly that morning, smiling with her pearly white teeth as her eyes seemed to scream to her companion, Today’s an amazing day!

Kei hated that about her sometimes. She reminded him too much of an old friend, and the least she could do to make up all the favors he’s done for her would be to stop making him remember. Jubilant eyes, bright smile, a caring and motherly nature, everything Kei had despised ever since his early childhood.

“Good morning!” Yachi exclaimed, blonde hair bouncing around her shoulders with each slight jump to her step.

“It’s not a good morning if I’m here,” Yamaguchi deadpanned, dark eyes lazily glancing up at the doctor duo. He sat up slowly, inspecting the ecstatic young woman and her uninterested counterpart. “You two are early this morning. What’s the occasion?” The way he spoke sent chills through Kei’s body. He shouldn’t have been capable of such normal words, they should have been stripped from him the second he had been deemed insane. Ultimately, he sighed, seeing as no one would partake in his early morning chat. “My conjecture could be wrong, feel free to correct me as you deem so, but you two seem reluctant to add to my observations.”

Kei grit his teeth as his eyes narrowed, frustration coursing through his body at the sophistication in the freckled boy’s tone. He felt the small and warm hand of the tiny blonde on his shoulder, and turning to peer down at her, she returned the gaze with one of her signature smiles. The conversation didn’t need to be said aloud for the two to understand each other. They had their own silent discussion with their eyes dictating what needed to be understood.

Kei was the first to break it off, but he could still feel the heavy stare Yachi held on him. Needless to say, he didn’t quite like this feeling.

“I don’t think it should be necessary to go over what’s to be expected of this session,” Yachi stated, her pale yellow locks curtaining her face from the patient who sat in front of her. She didn’t seem to mind the two pairs of eyes that seemed to inspect her, analyze every aspect of her being. She was going on her merry way. Kei hoped she would last a long time in her own little world. She was still young, about the same age as him, but she still wasn’t quite experienced with the balance of the world.

It was times like those that Kei took pity on her.

“I’ve been over it far too many times, I can practically recite it by memory,” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose to emphasize how bored he was. “However,” he turned to look at Kei with the hint of a smirk at the edge of his lips, “I wouldn’t mind it being said one more time. I’ve never had the pleasure of a blond.” Yamaguchi licked his lips, a small chuckle escaping his lips at how stiff Kei’s body had gotten. The tension in the room had significantly increased with the patient’s banter, but Kei had his fair share of experiences with situations like these.

He ignored him.

“I’ll be asking some of the questions today,” Kei announced, receiving the clipboard from Yachi.

“Hmm, not exactly what I had in mind when I said that, but any blond can count at this point. I’m not going anywhere, maybe a day will come,” the patient mused, staring at the ceiling with stone cold eyes. “I’ll make sure to enjoy myself in the meantime. Hopefully, you can pleasure me with this, Tsukki.”

Kei could feel his body heat up, knowing full well that his face was flaring red, showing an emotion he would rather be left hidden to the public eyes. His heart skipped beats, but he thought nothing of it. However, he was speechless, mouth agape, he couldn’t even muster up a sound to save what little dignity he had at this point.

He could hear a small giggle from behind him, yet he didn’t dare look. He could only focus on Yamaguchi’s perfect face. The way he looked uninterested in the blond, how clueless he was to the truth that was being hidden from him. Kei was intrigued.

“They’re similar to the questions from yesterday, so you won’t have to actually think. I doubt your brain’s even capable of doing something simple like that, though,” Kei made sure his voice had been heard through the chorus of giggles. The sudden booming voice did well to accomplish its original purpose. With the thick walls enclosing them in the compact room, Kei’s voice echoed through the moderately cramped room.

“I don’t think it was quite necessary to raise your voice,” Yachi whispered, eye fairly wide and mouth in a small, but sheepish frown. She stared at him, Kei returning her timid glance with a vicious one of his own.

“Those aren’t proper manners. Didn’t your mother teach you how to treat a woman, especially a young and delicate lady like her. She’s so frail she’s shaking, how pathetic,” Yamaguchi smirked, eyeing Yachi with a menacing look.

The comment itself was degrading and distasteful, Kei knew it. His natural instinct was to defend his friend, but his mouth was left agape when Yachi beat him to it with a comeback of her own.

“Weak?” The blonde whispered, head tilted to the side as she bore her eyes into his own dark orbs. ”If I’m weak, I wouldn’t even be here. This job isn’t for the weak, but for the strong. Degrading me because I’m simply female makes you the pathetic one. I bet you haven’t been through half the stuff I’ve gone through.” Not once did she blink. She didn’t break her stare, not daring to let him go without at least a reasonable reaction to the consequence at hand.

Considering the notes from past doctors, Yamaguchi had never been speechless or had shown any sign of shock. He hadn’t any need to, thinking he was superior to any living thing. The way he stared any person down to the point of their self-destruct. Why would he, someone who thought he was superior, be afraid? Kei supposed that that day would be a first for everything.

Yamaguchi sat there, eyes slightly wide, mouth hanging just a tad bit with the uttermost shock. He was speechless at Yachi’s sudden outburst, but one close look at the female told Kei everything he needed to know. He didn’t share his observations aloud, never would he be as mental as to reveal his views of the world. He could, he most definitely had the power to, but everyone had their own version of neurosis.

There was a stunning silence in the room. No one in the trio dared to speak through the empty room. The room itself had started to feel eerie, and at one point in the short period of quietude, Kei felt a pair of eyes stare at the back of his head, making his body tense up. It had never occurred to him how uncomfortable it felt to have someone just plainly stare at you. He had never felt the need to watch his back these days as he used to when he was younger. Why would he with the immunity he had earned throughout the institute.

“Let’s move on,” he raised his voice once again. This seemed to earn him the attention of both of his companions. He no longer felt the burning stare of the invisible person he had imagined. “What do you think led you to become the person you are today?”

It seemed like such a simple question, really it did. He had intended it to be simple, receive a straightforward answer as well. Nothing about Yamaguchi was easy.

Nothing ever seemed to be easy in life.

Especially if it was Tsukishima Kei’s life.

“Life just shakes you up that way, you don’t expect it. Like a blow to the face. Happened to me in high school once, I got into a fight with my best friend,” Kei cringed for a second before straightening and motioning to Yachi to log the session into their clipboard. “It was over the most idiotic thing you could possibly imagine. It was over cereal, he blamed me for touching his cereal during lunch and started to shove me, so I shoved him back and the fight broke out, then-”

“You’re straying off topic,” Kei interrupted, pushing his glasses up as he let out a sigh. “I think that should suffice as your answer.”

“Alright. Although I wasn’t able to finish my story.”

“That doesn’t matter. Relax, now answer me this. At what age did you start to notice your… tendencies?” Kei found himself hesitating midway through the sentence, words stuck in his throat.

“I… I don’t really recall,” Yamaguchi frowned, brows furrowing in deep thought, and Kei saw something in his eyes that he had never had the pleasure to be a witness of.

“What do you mean by that?” Kei asked, leaning forward slightly. For just mere seconds, the only noise that seemed to fill the chamber was of the pen sliding on the paper, and eventually colliding softly with the cold metal of the clipboard.

“I can’t recall much of my early childhood, just fragments I can’t seem to piece together,” he muttered, arms resting in his lap.

“Can you describe them to me?” Kei’s voice had gotten quiet. He had a feeling, telling him to just take back the question, that he didn’t want to. On the contrary, Kei was more curious than ever.

“There’s only two that I’ve been able to remember from my childhood, the specific ones. My mother used to taunt and warn me that if I didn’t behave right, I’d be taken away.” Kei had started to play around with his fingers, breathing slowing down.

“Take you away?” The blond repeated, not wanting to believe it. “Funny, I had friends who’d say the same to me,” his voice was nothing above a whisper,

“Yes, but everything after that seems fuzzy. I can’t seem to remember anything after that,” he mentioned with a slight sigh.

Kei hummed, nodding his head slowly, in understanding. “You said you had another one.”

Yamaguchi’s eyes widened and he bit his lip. “I don’t know, it’s not that clear, may have been a dream of mine. I really wouldn't bother telling it,” he muttered.

The blond doctor still couldn’t shake off what the patient had uttered, his stomach began to ache the longer he thought about it.

“It would be a waste of our time,” Kei muttered, staring at the bloodied wall space just above Yamaguchi’s head. “Let’s wrap this up in a bit.”

“So quick?” The patient whined, leaning forward suddenly to stare steadily into the blond’s eyes. “I was hoping to be able to look at those luxurious mahogany wood eyes that just seem to take my breath away.” Kei had refused Yachi’s interference with just the wave of his hand, interested in what peculiar game Yamaguchi intended to play.

“I would like to say the same, return a compliment, but yet there’s nothing about you that captivates my attention. I wouldn’t even bother to have you as a toy.” He abruptly stood from his chair and nodded at Yachi. “I’ve yet to sign some papers, I’ll leave the rest to you.” He stalked to the door when an arm reached for him, making him stop mid-step.

He turned to look behind him, a hand gripping his arm tightly, blonde bangs creating a shield for her eyes. He made his way to retort, an act to flinch away but found that the blonde had a death grip on his arm. She looked up, her eyes displaying an emotion Kei couldn’t recall, his mouth agape in shock to the blonde’s sudden reaction.

“We need to talk,” she stated, eyes challenging him to decline. This wasn’t the usual Yachi who would fret over a deadline and who’d jump when frightened. This was a new Yachi that Kei had never met, and dare he say, he was intrigued.

He bore his own eyes into her’s before rolling them and shrugging off her grip. “Fine. Drop by when you need to. My hands will be tied though, so I can’t promise much.” Kei threw a smirk at her before continuing to walk down the corridor, countless of emotions occupying his mind. Old memories that had been buried ages ago had begun to resurface, along with them, a string of negative reactions. Kei wasn’t the best when it came to this, or any sort of thing that could bring his sanity into check.

Kei was living the life of an imposter.

A lie to say the least.

But when had Kei ever told the truth?

* * * *

“This concludes our meeting, however those of you in the following departments please stay behind for additional information. HR, Statistics, and-” Daichi continued to speak while the blond doodled on the copies that had been distributed. He only managed to hear the usual dismissal, taking it as his cue to leave before anyone asked anything of him.

Fridays were the slowest day of the week, trying to stay awake during the endless meeting and then having to do paperwork. The blond wondered how he had survived five years at the institute.

He rose from his seat before a hand on his shoulder pushed him back down. He bit back an insult, looking upwards to be met with a blond man with brown eyes. Kei’s eyebrows furrowed and he quickly made to slap the hand off his shoulder.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Kei hissed, standing to be eye level with the man before him.

“I thought I said I was going to see you today?” He laughed lightly, hands in his coat. “It’s quite cold, don’t you think?”

“I thought we were going to meet up later,” Kei muttered, eyes casting down to look at the carpeted floor.

“I guess you must have interpreted things the wrong way, you always used to do that.”

“I don’t have time for this. I’m a very busy man, I’ve told you that!”

“Since when have you ever been serious about your work? Last time I checked, you yelled a number of profanities at my receptionist, saying you hated your job.”

“I have to meet with someone, excuse me,” Kei muttered, turning away from the man and colliding with Yachi, who had been behind him.

“S-Sorry!”

“It’s okay, in fact, it’s my fault. I apologize,” Kei cast his eyes down to her flushed face, pale hair swaying with a nod of her head. “Let’s continue this in my office,” Kei whispered, indirectly referring to the man who Kei had previously been talking to. The small blonde noticed, nodding slowly and stalking out the door after Kei.

“So was that-.”

“Yes,” Kei interrupted her, not wanting her to speak of the matter.

“He-”

“I know. Let’s switch topics, shall we?”

They neared Kei’s office, a group of nurses standing at the corner of the corridor initiating gossip. They stopped their chatter to get a look at Kei practically pushing Yachi into his office and slamming the door behind them. Their whispers had turned into exclamations and protests, some bad mouthing the blonde while others praised her for being able to get close to the cold doctor.

If only they knew.

“I know what you’re going to say, and frankly, I’d rather you kept quiet,” he began, leaning against the wall.

“I… I never can get used to that thing you do, it makes keeping secrets from you impossible,” she said, voice hushed.

“I’ve tried to forget it. I can’t get used to it either, even if it’s as old as me.”

They stood in silence for a while, the tall blond playing with his fingers while the shorter played with her hair, twirling it around her finger in habit.

“You haven’t got anything to do after, or right now, have you?” Yachi asked, coffee colored eyes staring into almost identical orbs. The only difference was the warmth her eyes offered, a contrast to his frigid ones. Kei couldn’t help but think of the “opposites attract” thing Sugawara would say when they were younger. How times have changed.

“No. I’m free. What about you?” Kei inquired, his eyes averting back to his fidgeting fingers.

“I’m flexible for a cup of coffee if you want,” she suggested, face flushing just as she let her invitation slip through her lips.

“Alright. We can go to the cafe near my apartment. I’ll drive.” He raised his arm, reaching for the door before he froze. “If that’s okay with you,” he added in a mere whisper. He didn’t want to be a pushy person, in fact, he wanted to be the best version of himself he could be in the presence of Yachi.

“I’d love to,” she whispered, carefully taking his hand into her own and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“You bring out the good in people, and I hate it.”

“They say people hate the best thing-”

“You really shouldn’t start on that,” he bitterly laughed. “I also hate when you say things like that and expect me to see reason in them.

They talked as they made their way out of the asylum, mostly work-related topics, sometimes even discussing the gossip that was going around.

The car ride to the cafe was silent, the only noise coming from the engine and ill-mannered curses Kei threw at passing cars, cursing their reckless driving.

Yachi grew anxious.

Luckily they made it to the cafe, and Yachi hadn’t been happier to step foot in her ex-fiance’s shop.

As Kei held the door for the short blonde, a gust of wind blew their way. The blonde’s short hair swayed wildly as well a the coat she wore to face the cold weather.

They hurried inside and were greeted by the long line of waiting customers, most of them seeking shelter from the harsh wind. “What would you like?” The blond muttered under his breath, cheeks tinting a soft pink as his eyes averted to the window.

“It’s not much, just hot chocolate,” she whispered, digging her hands into the pocket of her coat to pull out money.

“Don’t worry about it,” Kei managed to miraculously not stutter out his words. “I’ll pay.”

Yachi shook her head vigorously, her face growing red in embarrassment. “I asked a favor from you, the least I can do is pay for your future trips to the cafe.”

“In that case, I’ll take hot chocolate and strawberry shortcake. Maybe a croissant as well.” Yachi mustered a small laugh as the line moved forward.

“I guess that’s what happens when you go around asking for favors.”

“Especially from me. Now go ask the cashier if they have plain croissants,” Kei said as he headed over to an empty table by the window.

* * * *

“I can’t believe you have the audacity to come to my office,” Kei said, glaring at the man standing in front of him.

“And waste an opportunity to see my brother? No way!”

“You disgust me,” Kei muttered. “Do me a favor, if you’re gonna be a nuisance pass me that little metal toy thing over there,” he said, pointing to the Slinky on his shelf.

“You mean a Slinky?” Akiteru asked. However, he did as he was told and retrieved the object for Kei. He nodded his approval and stretched out his hand, taking the Slinky from his older brother. “I can’t believe you don’t know what it’s called, they’re literally children’s toys.”

“I was never a child, you know that,” Kei told him, sitting up. He balanced one end of the toy and left the other to its demise on the floor. “Pity.”

“You need to stop being so cold and whatnot,” his older brother cited. “Or you’ll end up like him.” Akiteru pulled up a chair and sat in front of the younger Tsukishima’s desk.

“I’m no longer a child,” Kei retorted, setting the toy on his desk and frowning. “And before you contradict me, you know what I mean. You used to get away with saying that when we were younger, but now I’m older and so are you. I’d appreciate it if you’d treat me like the adult we both know I am.” Kei raises an eyebrow, challenging Akiteru.

“He’s here. I’m confident you know that,” his brother said instead. “How are you handling that?” Kei sighed and stood up, making his way to the bookcase shelved with multiple patients’ files. “Are you ignoring me? That’s quite a rude way to treat your superior.”

“I could care less what you were. You’re always just going to be my idiot older brother.” Kei’s attention returned to the shelf, looking for Yamaguchi’s file. When he finally found it, he pulled it off the shelf and gaited back to his desk, slamming it in front of his brother. “I want answers,” he said, glaring down at him. “Now give them to me.”

Akiteru sighed, peering down at Yamaguchi’s file with a sad smile. “I can’t tell you.”

“Bullshit,” Kei barked, seating himself in his chair. “You practically run this whole shindig, tell me.” His words bring nothing but silence, making the blond snap.”You’re useless to me as of now.”

“Kei-”

“Leave. I have places to be. I have a date.” Kei glared at his older brother, crossed his arms over his chest, and asked, “Do I need security to escort you out of my office?”

At his threat, Akiteru sighed. He rose from his chair and glanced at the file one last time before he waved goodbye to Kei and walked out the door.

“I’m running late,” he whispered to himself, placing his work into his briefcase briskly. “And I still need to go home and change.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. It's been a year. There's no excuse other than "I've been busy". Sorry for leaving you guys hanging, I hope this made up for it! I'll definitely try to update more.
> 
> If you wanna talk my twitter is @thatastrophile
> 
> I enjoy reading people's comments so please don't be shy!


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